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Some people think that equal chances of work should ne given to ladies. Others believe that women’s role should be limited to house and children which opinion do you agree

Some people think that equal chances of work should ne given to ladies. Others believe that women’s role should be limited to house and children which opinion do you agree VP0q7
In the modern world, a heated argument is going on over the issue of whether women ought to take the responsibility of job, in a similar way as men are doing or they should only restrict their lives to take care of family members or home. I personally believe that ladies deserve equality in each and every field and they should indulge themselves in distinct fields rather than only concentrating on kids or house. To commence with the first notion, if females would get involved in business, they can earn eye catching salaries by getting lucrative employment opportunities. It is not only fruitful for financial security of the family but also upgrades the economical graph of the nation. Moreover, reputative picture of society can be promoted in new generation's mind while watching the elimination of discrimination between two genders in distinct factors. Ultimately, self-esteem of ladies will boom and they will be able to voice out their opinions in front of others without any hesitation. On the contrary, some people believe that by bestowing employment to females, the hurdle of lack of supervision of kids can be faced by individuals and they can also start doing anti-social activities in the absence of mothers. Offsprings are immature and not able to understand the difference between good or bad, only parents guide them and protect them from criminal activities. Apart from this, ladies handle the home and maintain it in well organised manner when gents go to work, but if they would also start working, the tribulation of mess in home will be faced by humans. Therefore, one member should earn and support the family economically and other person can stay at home to handle the growing ones. In my standpoint, it is unhuman to stop somebody to not perform work and apply restrictions on them, as ladies would feel sad due to this. For example, my cousin got married and left job after having kids, which occurred as depression for her while sitting at home for whole day. Finally she started doing work again and feeling ecstatic. Hammering the last nail, I personally feel that complete freedom should be given to ladies without any limitation and thu should do their job as per their own choice.
In the modern world, a heated argument is going on over the issue of whether women ought to take the responsibility of job,
Consider replacing "in a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a similar way
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doing or
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
restrict their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to take care of family members or home. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
deserve equality in each and every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
field and
they should indulge themselves in distinct fields
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
concentrating on kids or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

To commence with the
first
notion, if females would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in business, they can earn
'eye catching' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "eye-catching".
eye catching
salaries by getting

lucrative employment opportunities. It is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
fruitful for financial security of the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
upgrades the economical graph of the nation.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
reputative
picture of society can
be promoted
in new generation's mind while watching the elimination of discrimination between two genders in distinct factors.
Ultimately
, self-esteem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
will
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boom and
they will be able to voice out their opinions in front of others without any hesitation.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that by bestowing employment to females, the hurdle of lack of supervision of kids can
be faced
by
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
individuals and
they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing anti-social activities in the absence of mothers.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Offsprings
are immature and not able to understand the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
parents guide them and protect them from criminal activities. Apart from this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
handle the home and maintain it in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
manner when gents go to work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working, the tribulation of mess in home will
be faced
by humans.
Therefore
, one member should earn and support the family
economically
and other person can stay at home to handle the growing ones.

In my standpoint, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
unhuman
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
somebody to not perform work and apply restrictions on them, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
would feel sad due to this.
For example
, my cousin
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
job after having kids, which occurred as depression for her while sitting at home for whole day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing work again and feeling ecstatic.

Hammering the last nail, I
personally
feel that complete freedom should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ladies
without any limitation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thu
should do their job as per their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice.

IELTS essay Some people think that equal chances of work should ne given to ladies. Others believe that women’s role should be limited to house and children which opinion do you agree

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
375 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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