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The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today in 21st century we all are living in internet world. As we can see in this modern world the use of social media is keep increasing for example facebook, whats app, twittwer etc. In this modern world social media is keep replacing the live interaction among many people in society and we cannot deny from that fact. In the following paragraph I would like describe how and why use of social media is replacing face to face interaction society people. First reason is camera mobile smart phones social media comes in your pocket. In easy way whenever you want to connect yourself with society just take out your phone and log in to your social account and connect yourself with society people from any place at any time. Second the biggest reason behind it is lack of time. As today fast-moving world no one have that much spare time to go with society and being socialize with them. Third reason is social media give you a platform where you can deliver your words and thoughts at large level just in few times. Yes, I think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media. As I regulate that thing social media is become important part of our life. You can represent yourself on social media however you want to be. Social media become more fast and easy way to connect with not only people in society but also the people whom you admire. Today Every news comes to you threw social media and people make news or story by their self with camera and post on social media. Also social media gives you freedom and right to share the information or news that been posted on social media.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
in 21st century we all are living in internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
increasing
for example
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
Did you mean “WhatsApp” (= Messenger) or “what’s up” (= question)?
whats app
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
twittwer
etc. In this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
replacing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
interaction among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we cannot deny from that fact.

In the following paragraph I would like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
how and why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is replacing face to face interaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
First
reason is camera mobile
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in your pocket. In easy way whenever you want to connect yourself with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
take out your phone and log in to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
account and connect yourself with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from any place at any time. Second the biggest reason behind it is lack of time. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
no one have that much spare time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and being
Consider using either the past participle “socialized” or the present participle “socializing” here.
socialize
with them. Third reason is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
give you a platform where you can deliver your words and thoughts at large level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in few times.

Yes, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
I regulate that thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our life. You can represent yourself on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
however
you want to be.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and easy way to connect with not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whom you admire.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
Every news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to you threw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
news or story by their self with camera and post on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
gives you freedom and right to share the information or news that
been posted
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
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IELTS essay The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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