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Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is observed that, deaths of adocelents arising from road traffic accidents are on the increase, to solve this menace, some people are of the opinion that folks under the age of 24 should not be allowed to drive a vehicle. This essay completely agrees with this point of view because the under 24's are not wholly matured to operate a car and also, they do not yet have a sense of responsibility. First and foremost, one of the reasons why I subscribe to this point of view is due to the fact, that majority of those under the age of 24 are not yet matured in all ramifications and allowing them to drive is like giving them a death sentence. For example, driving takes courage and maturity, if these kids are faced my an incoming vehicle that just had a failed braked, would they not lose hope? Would they not freak out. Due to lack of courage and maturity, I think anyone In the early twenties should not be permitted to drive. Secondly, older people are more enlightened, and are also aware of possible causes of bike accidents. In other words, they are knowledgeable of certain dangerous road's practices such as, exceeding the speed limit, performing certain type of over-taking and lane changing on the highway, and operating mobile phones, which can result in accidents or even death. Thus, they will avoid such practices while driving. Finally, people older than 23 can be held responsible by the government for their actions; therefore, they should be licensed to drive motorcycles. This is because, they are aware of the rules and regulations of the highway, and have attained the legal jail punishable age; hence, they would be more careful when driving motorbikes. To exemplify, the Guardian newspaper in 2017, reported that above 70% of the careful road users are adults above the age of 23. In summary, I believe that authorities that want to prevent road accidents associated with juvenile delinquency should only permit adults above 23 to drive motorcycles, as they are more mature in mind, aware of the possible causes of accidents, and are of the age of being held responsible for their actions.
It
is observed
that, deaths of
Possible spelling mistake found.
adocelents
arising from road traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are on the increase, to solve this menace,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that folks under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 24 should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to drive a vehicle. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
this


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
point
of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the under 24's are not wholly matured to operate a car and
also
, they do not
yet
have a sense of responsibility.

First
and foremost, one of the reasons why I subscribe to this point of view is due to the fact, that majority of those under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 24 are not
yet
matured in all ramifications and allowing them to drive is like giving them a death sentence.
For example
, driving takes courage and maturity, if these kids
are faced
my an incoming vehicle that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had a failed braked, would they not lose hope? Would they not freak out
If this is a question, use a question mark.
.
Due to lack of courage and maturity, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
anyone In the early twenties should not
be permitted
to drive.

Secondly
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more enlightened, and are
also
aware of possible causes of bike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
In other words
, they are knowledgeable of certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
road's practices such as, exceeding the speed limit, performing certain type of over-taking and lane changing on the highway, and operating mobile phones, which can result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
or even death.
Thus
, they will avoid such practices while driving.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
older than 23 can
be held
responsible by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for their actions;
therefore
, they should
be licensed
to drive

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
motorcycles
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations of the highway, and have attained the legal jail punishable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
;
hence
, they would be more careful when driving motorbikes. To exemplify, the Guardian newspaper in 2017, reported that above 70% of the careful road users are adults above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 23.

In summary, I believe that authorities that want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
associated with juvenile delinquency should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
permit adults above 23 to drive

motorcycles, as they are more mature in mind, aware of the possible causes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, and are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
being held
responsible for their actions.
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IELTS essay Motor vehicle crashes are one of the leading causes of teen deaths. To prevent such road accidents, the government should ban people under 24 to drive motorcycles.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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