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The use of mobile phones should be banned in fitness centers and gyms. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The use of mobile phones should be banned in fitness centers and gyms. with this opinion? YBnNm
It is a fact that in these days mobile phones are significant devices for everyone. Some people say that the usage of cell phones should not be allowed in fitness centres and gyms. However, I disagree with this statement for the following reasons. On the one hand, I tend to agree that mobile phones are wildly used for several reasons when people have healthy activities in fitness centres and gyms. Firstly, they can use this device to track their activities. For example, when they walk or run, the mobile phone will be used to count steps and calories they burn. Secondly, today plenty of people prefer taking photos including in the gyms. Personally, they can use it for their entertainment. Moreover, if they posted the beautiful picture on social, this is a good way to advertise fitness centres without expenses I think. On the other hand, others claim that the devices should not be allowed when people are in the gyms because it might interrupt others if we use it inappropriately. For instance, some people invade others privacy when they are exercising. As a consequence, some gyms set up regulations to ban the use of mobile phone in order to get a high satisfaction of customers. In conclusion, I disagree with this viewpoint because people should use their mobile phone with suitable ways. Furthermore, fitness centres should support customers by offering the possible rules to them to encourage
It is a fact that in these days mobile
phones
are significant devices for everyone.
Some
people
say that the usage of cell
phones
should not be
allowed
in
fitness
centres
and
gyms
.
However
, I disagree with this statement for the following reasons.

On the one hand, I tend to
agree
that mobile
phones
are
wildly
used
for several reasons when
people
have healthy activities in
fitness
centres
and
gyms
.
Firstly
, they can
use
this device to
track
their activities.
For example
, when they walk or run, the mobile
phone
will be
used
to count steps and calories they burn.
Secondly
,
today
plenty
of
people
prefer taking photos including in the
gyms
.
Personally
, they can
use
it for their entertainment.
Moreover
, if they posted the
beautiful
picture on social, this is a
good
way to advertise
fitness
centres
without expenses I
think
.

On the
other
hand, others claim that the devices should not be
allowed
when
people
are in the
gyms
because
it might interrupt others if we
use
it
inappropriately
.
For instance
,
some
people
invade others privacy when they are exercising. As a consequence,
some
gyms
set up regulations to ban the
use
of mobile
phone
in order to
get
a high satisfaction of customers.

In conclusion
, I disagree with this viewpoint
because
people
should
use
their mobile
phone
with suitable ways.
Furthermore
,
fitness
centres
should support customers by offering the possible
rules
to them to encourage
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IELTS essay The use of mobile phones should be banned in fitness centers and gyms. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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