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The urgency of permanent house

The urgency of permanent house kb502
Today, as the population has been increased, some people believe that owning a house is a must. However, there are some parties which believe that in order to fulfill their accomodation, renting a house is the best way they have to do. In this case, I would like to show why this contradiction could be happened. Regarding this, I will make my stand which believes this debate will bring negative condition. A number of people who try to have their own house think that buying a permanent house represents their preparadness to have a prosperious life in the future. They don’t want to let themselves to be a part of many persons who are still thinking about where they will live after their renthouses’ contract have been finished. An example that I have been seen directly is how my parents feel anxious about their life after they have retired. This situation leads them to save money to buy a property in their favourite location. However, some people argue that this paradigm could avoids them to afford their dream things. This is especially felt by those who are categorized as the millenials. In my opinion, this debate is not a constructive matter because every argument of these parties has its own particular preferences. We could not judge one of these arguments as a fallacy. For example, the millenials’ reason to deny the urgency to have a permanent house is maybe caused by their own financial condition which have been better and could guarantee them to by anything in the rest of their life without worrying about their future to have a permanent house like their parents. There are several changes that could not be comparised by the previous generation’s lifestyle standards. To conclude, every person has his/her distinctive reasons whether to buy a permanent house or not. Therefore, we have to respect of a decision that is believed by someone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, as the population has
been increased
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parties which believe that in order to fulfill their
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
, renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is the best way they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do.
In this case
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why this contradiction could
be happened
. Regarding this, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my stand which believes this debate will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
condition.

A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who try to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
represents their
Possible spelling mistake found.
preparadness
to have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
prosperious
life in the future. They don’t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
themselves to be a part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons who are
still
thinking about where they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
after their
Possible spelling mistake found.
renthouses
’ contract have
been finished
. An example that I have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
directly
is how my parents feel anxious about their life after they have retired. This situation leads them to save money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a property in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
location.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this paradigm could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "avoid"
avoids
them to afford their dream things. This is
especially
felt by those who
are categorized
as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
millenials
.

In my opinion, this debate is not a constructive matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every argument of these parties has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
particular preferences. We could not judge one of these arguments as a fallacy.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
millenials
’ reason to deny the urgency to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is maybe caused by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
financial condition which have been better and could guarantee them to
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
anything in the rest of their life without worrying about their future to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
like their parents. There are several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that could not be
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparised
by the previous generation’s lifestyle standards.

To conclude
, every person has his/her distinctive reasons whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or not.
Therefore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
respect of a decision that
is believed
by someone.
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IELTS essay The urgency of permanent house

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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