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The government should increase the price of petrol in order to resolve the traffic problems and pollution. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should increase the price of petrol in order to resolve the traffic problems and pollution. BYaJ6
Over the last two decades, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of vehicles. This has resulted in numerous traffic jams in the big cities and consequently, deteriorated the environment. There are those who believe that authorities must raise the price of fuel and that might be helped to solve the problems. I am strongly inclined to believe that due to increasing the price of fuel, will be a bad impact on society and the industrial market. The foremost argument to explain my inclination is that petrol and oil is playing a fundamental role in the industry, most of the heavy machinery used in different industries operated by petrol. For example, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that nearly 80% of the business is very sensitive to the price of petrol. In addition, the higher price of fuel will indirectly influence the price of the various goods in the market by increasing the cost of their transportation. On the other hand, middle-class people are surviving from what they are earned and will increase the price of petrol, which they would not afford. Due to the costly transportation, they will not go outside in their leisure time for enjoyment. Moreover, the government should make good and fast public transport and smooth roads and also reduce the cost of tickets. Furthermore, scientists should search for the source of clean energy such as solar energy and nuclear power to replace the fossil fuel. To conclude that it can be clearly seen that the drawbacks of the higher price of the fuel rather than the advantage. I am against the increased price of petrol. The government and scientists can handle the problems using good public transportation and innovation in renewable energy.
Over the last two decades, there has been a dramatic increase in the number of vehicles. This has resulted in numerous traffic jams in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities and
consequently
, deteriorated the environment. There are those who believe that authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and that might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to solve the problems. I am
strongly
inclined to believe that due to increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on society and the industrial market.

The foremost argument to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my inclination is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
and oil is playing a fundamental role in the industry, most of the heavy machinery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
industries operated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
.
For example
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that
nearly
80% of the business is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sensitive to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
.
In addition
, the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
will
indirectly
influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the market by increasing the cost of their transportation.

On the other hand
, middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are surviving from what they
are earned
and will increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
, which they would not afford. Due to the costly transportation, they will not go outside in their leisure time for enjoyment.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
public transport and smooth roads and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cost of tickets.
Furthermore
, scientists should search for the source of clean energy such as solar energy and nuclear power to replace the fossil fuel.

To conclude
that it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the drawbacks of the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
rather
than the advantage. I am against the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
petrol
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and scientists can handle the problems using
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
public transportation and innovation in renewable energy.
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IELTS essay The government should increase the price of petrol in order to resolve the traffic problems and pollution.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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