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The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far overweigh the disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. v.15

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far overweigh the disadvantages. v. 15
Nuclear weapons were developed in the second world war. Since then, for countries who have nuclear weapons, seize the opportunity to threaten others as the damages caused by atomic bombs are fatal. Some people believe that the threat of nuclear weapons helps the world remain peaceful and the nuclear power generated is cheap and environmentally friendly. However, considering the risk involved, I strongly disagree that the positive side is far outstrip than the detrimental effects but instead vice versa. First of all, the potential danger of a nuclear power station can never be underestimated. Uranium, the element that is used to generate power, is radioactive. During fission, it releases carcinogenic radiations which burn your skin or causes cancer. You will no longer exist in a few hours if you touch those nuclear wastes. Furthermore, nature and the society would also be greatly damaged if the nuclear power plants went out of control. Millions, or even billions, of people will get killed. Major food chains, water would all be polluted. Hence, although nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy, you would definitely not be willing to experience the tragedy - Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant again. Despite presenting advantages to countries owning it, a nuclear weapon can be ground off disagreement and conflict. For instance, North Korea, which has demonstrated its achievements in developing nuclear weapons. Even though this can scare off a country’s enemies and prevent potential attacks, it will definitely trigger a negative reaction in many peace-loving countries across the globe. This could cause confidence or trade of crises and damages the economical aspect. As a result, exploiting nuclear weapons would not be a good idea for those developing countries. In conclusion, difficult to handle, exploiting nuclear energy can result in human extinction. Therefore, I firmly believe that the negative impacts of using this type of energy source are far more.
Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
were developed
in the second world war. Since then, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
, seize the opportunity to threaten others as the damages caused by atomic bombs are fatal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the threat of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the world remain peaceful and the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
generated is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
environmentally
friendly.
However
, considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
involved, I
strongly
disagree that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side is far outstrip than the detrimental effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
vice versa.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
station can never
be underestimated
. Uranium, the element
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
, is radioactive. During fission, it releases carcinogenic radiations which burn your skin or causes cancer. You will no longer exist in a few hours if you touch those nuclear wastes.
Furthermore
, nature and the society would
also
be
greatly
damaged if the nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
plants went out of control. Millions, or even billions, of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
killed. Major food chains, water would all
be polluted
.
Hence
, although nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and clean energy, you would definitely not be willing to experience the tragedy
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Chernobyl Nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Power
Plant again.

Despite presenting advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
owning it, a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapon
can
be ground
off disagreement and conflict.
For instance
, North Korea, which has demonstrated its achievements in developing nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
.
Even though
this can scare off a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
enemies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
potential attacks, it will definitely trigger a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reaction in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
peace-loving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
across the globe. This could cause confidence or trade of crises and damages the economical aspect.
As a result
, exploiting nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
would not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.

In conclusion
, difficult to handle, exploiting nuclear energy can result in human extinction.
Therefore
, I
firmly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of using this type of energy source are far more.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far overweigh the disadvantages. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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