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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? v.33

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 33
Nowadays, there are billions of vehicles in the streets. As most of them run by petrol, air and environment are being polluted. Also, these large numbers of cars makes long and long traffic jams. However, in order to solve this problem, people say that, the price of petrol should be increased. But I completely disagree with this solution. So, now I will try to show why I have a disagreement and I will give some other suggestions for those problems. Firstly, if the amount of money of petrol is increased, drivers use other type of fuel which is cheaper. Because, in both expensive and cheap fuels cars appropriately run. For example, today, we can find many other sources of energy, like gas or diesel, which a lot of people using in the world. They are also harmful to the planet, albeit cheaper. So, according to this reason, we can notice that any of these 2 problems can turn into a positive way. Furthermore, for helping the polluted ecology, world have to pay attention to increase the number of companies that produce electronic vehicles. Because, these cars are eco-friendly, it means that they don’t have any drawbacks for the Earth. Another solution for reducing traffic problems is allowing population to use public transport, such as buses, trams or underground. As a result of this, on the roads, will be fewer private transport which is now making traffic jams. In conclusion, the given reason for solving these problems is completely useless. Because, as I mentioned, the price does not play any role in changing the process. However, other solutions which I have given are more effective rather than this one.
Nowadays, there are billions of vehicles in the streets. As most of them run by petrol, air and environment are
being polluted
.
Also
, these large numbers of cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
long and long traffic jams.
However
, in order to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that, the price of petrol should
be increased
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I completely disagree with this solution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
why I have a disagreement and I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
suggestions for those problems.

Firstly
, if the amount of money of petrol
is increased
, drivers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
type of fuel which is cheaper.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in both expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
fuels cars
appropriately
run.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, we can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources of energy, like gas or diesel, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using in the world. They are
also
harmful to the planet, albeit cheaper.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, according to this reason, we can notice that any of these 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can turn into a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.

Furthermore
, for helping the polluted ecology, world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay attention to increase the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that produce electronic vehicles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, these cars are eco-friendly, it means that they don’t have any drawbacks for the Earth. Another solution for reducing traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is allowing population to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport, such as buses, trams or underground.
As a result
of this, on the roads, will be fewer private transport which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
making traffic jams.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
reason for solving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is completely useless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, as I mentioned, the price does not play any role in changing the process.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solutions which I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
are more effective
rather
than this one.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What other measures do you think might be effective? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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