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The things should be done to promote equality of oportunity for men and women in the workplace

Women nowadays, they have the right for having education and and applying for a job. Nevertheless, the equaivalancy between both gender disappears at the workplace. However, this unequivalancy could be handled by using the government's power. As it could set rules about distributing the wages in terms of position, reliability and working hard regardless, to the gender's type who's doing the work. Accordingly, the employer will ably these rules so, the workplace will be a tolerant place gor woman to work in and getting out all the huge idea's that she has with dignity. As a result, she will have the oportunity to make a difference. For making this equality comes true and be applied, several steps must be done: first, the government must increase the awareness of people regard this equally via media. Second, the employer can hang papers on the wall which demonestrate that both men and women will have close salary percentage and they will be promoted in terms of experiences only. On the other hand, this concept of equality will not be accepted by many of male gender. As, from centuries, the female is underestimated by men. Therefore, she is known by vulnerability which is fragility and sensitivity. Adding to this, the untolerable and harmful way of treatment of men on women after the acceptance of the government as there will be jealousy and malevolance. This concept will not be applied today or tomorrow. It will take time to be done and admitted by the whole world, so it's not impossible. To conclude, i agree with equally between genders in terms of wages and promotions.
Women nowadays, they have the right for having education
and and
applying for a job.
Nevertheless
, the
equaivalancy
between both gender disappears at the workplace.
However
, this
unequivalancy
could
be handled
by using the
government
's power. As it could set
rules
about distributing the wages in terms of position, reliability and working
hard
regardless, to the gender's type who's doing the work.
Accordingly
, the employer will
ably
these
rules
so
, the workplace will be a tolerant place
gor
woman to work in and getting out all the huge
idea
's that she has with dignity.
As a result
, she will have the
oportunity
to
make
a difference. For making this equality
comes
true and
be applied
, several steps
must
be done
:
first
, the
government
must
increase the awareness of
people
regard this
equally
via media. Second, the employer can hang papers on the wall which
demonestrate
that both
men
and women will have close salary
percentage and
they will
be promoted
in terms of experiences
only
.
On the other hand
, this concept of equality will not be
accepted
by
many
of male gender. As, from centuries, the female
is underestimated
by
men
.
Therefore
, she
is known
by vulnerability which is fragility and sensitivity. Adding to this, the untolerable and harmful way of treatment of
men
on women after the acceptance of the
government
as there will be jealousy and
malevolance
. This concept will not
be applied
today
or tomorrow. It will take time to
be done
and admitted by the whole world,
so
it's not impossible.
To conclude
,
i
agree
with
equally
between genders in terms of wages and promotions.
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IELTS essay The things should be done to promote equality of oportunity for men and women in the workplace

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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