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music is a good way of bringing people together . to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

music is a good way of bringing people together. with this opinion? 52LlP
the last millenium saw a gradual change in the populations of the world. This was due to several factors and music was one of them. Music connected people across the continents and helped overcome the various differnces in cultures to create a lagely homogenised world. Music evolved quite a lot in the last 50 years which was made possible by various recording techniques. Music was first played on records which shifted to casettes, tapes, cd's and finally we have music streaming services. The music which was once confined to the local geological boundations was being played accross the globe which helped in creating a general interest towards new languages and cultures. The commercialisation of music helped in creating in whole new market of jobs which included artists, marketing and technical teams. This had a massive impact in bringing down the walls of culture as a large team of people from various cultures and ethinicities had to work together in order to sucessfully create new music. Music streaming services helped in even further in narrowing down the gap. Isn't it facinating thart you have access of over 100 million songs from all artists and genres in the palm of your hand and is only a click away? I can listen to various latin American artists while sitting on the beaches of Japan! The diversity in music has a great effect on the way we think by giving us a global outlook. Music is an intergral part of our lives and its importance can be appreciated when we observe it closely over long periods.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
last
Possible spelling mistake found.
millenium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the populations of the world. This was due to several factors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
was one of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
connected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
across the continents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
Possible spelling mistake found.
differnces
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to create a
Possible spelling mistake found.
lagely
Possible spelling mistake. 'homogenised' is British English.
homogenised
world.

Music evolved quite a lot in the last 50 years which
was made
possible by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
recording techniques.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
Music
was
first
played on records which shifted to
Possible spelling mistake found.
casettes
, tapes,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cd
's and
finally
we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
streaming services. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which was once confined to the local geological
Possible spelling mistake found.
boundations
was
being played
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
the globe which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in creating a general interest towards new languages and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'commercialisation' is British English.
commercialisation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in creating in
whole new market of jobs which included artists, marketing and technical teams. This had a massive impact in bringing down the walls of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as a large team of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ethinicities
had to work together in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucessfully
create new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
streaming services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in even
further
in narrowing down the gap. Isn't it
Possible spelling mistake found.
facinating
Possible spelling mistake found.
thart
you have access of over 100 million songs from all artists and genres in the palm of your hand and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a click away? I can listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
latin American
artists while sitting on the beaches of Japan!

The diversity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a great effect on the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by giving us a global outlook.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
intergral
part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and its importance can
be appreciated
when we observe it
closely
over long periods.
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IELTS essay music is a good way of bringing people together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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