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The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian University in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant v.2

The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian University in 2009.
The given table elucidates the employment rates and the average yearly salaries of fresh degree holders of an Australian University in 2009. 93% of the health graduates were employed and received and average annual salary of $42, 000. Law and Engineering and IT graduates received the highest salaries of $59, 000 dollars each. It is interesting to note that their employment rate was lesser than that of Health graduates but their average salaries were higher. 78% of those graduating from the business field got employment and their average salaries per year were $ 52, 000. 72% of those holding a bachelors degree in Arts and Social Science were employed and their average annual salaries were $ 50, 000. Overall, the least paid jobs were in Health and Science, whereas Law and IT and Engineering gaduates were the best paid
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table elucidates the employment rates and the
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average
yearly
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salaries
of fresh degree holders of an Australian University in 2009.

93% of the health graduates
were employed
and received and
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average
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of

$42, 000. Law and Engineering and IT graduates received the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of $59, 000 dollars each. It is interesting to note that their employment rate was lesser than that of Health graduates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
were higher. 78% of those graduating from the business field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
employment and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
per year were
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$52".
$ 52
, 000. 72% of those holding a bachelors degree in Arts and Social Science
were employed
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
were
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$50".
$ 50
, 000.

Overall
, the least paid jobs were in Health and Science, whereas Law and IT and Engineering
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaduates
were the best paid
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian University in 2009.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian University in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant v.2