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The table and pie chart shows the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. v.1

The table and pie chart shows the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.
Family is always playing the role of mediator between the society and their young one. But, the school is a place where students learn so many things about life. So, accordingly, both plays their own role in the life of a person. Lets discuss in the coming paragraphs. First and foremost, mother and father knows more about their child's life, because from their childhood, the started teaching about speaking, walking and eating. In my opinion, all the time they help their kid to tackle the situation and the up-downs of life. On the other hand, when they become young, their parents always stand by their side to tell about the society and the living. For instance, when a child started growing them always needs the support of their family and surroundings for the moral values. Secondly, Schools also have their own part in the student life. Undoubtedly, when a kid started his learning from the school, in the coming time he also learn about their social values. For instance, in student life he or she started making friends as well as sharing of things. Moreover, learn about how all of the friends care about each others. On the whole, by gaining these habits from school also helps them in making a better person of the society. To conclude, family and friends, both are taking a major part in the name of the social and moral life of the one. There is no meaning of a person, in the society with a bad behaviour. So education and upbringing both plays a great role in it.
Family is always playing the role of mediator between the society and their young one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a place where students learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
accordingly
, both plays their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of a person.
Did you mean "Let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
Lets
discuss in the coming paragraphs.

First
and foremost, mother and father knows more about their child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from their childhood, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
teaching about speaking, walking and eating. In my opinion, all the time they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their kid to tackle the situation and the up-downs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
, when they become young, their parents always stand by their side to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the society and the living.
For instance
, when a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
growing them always needs the support of their family and surroundings for the moral values.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
also
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
part in the student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Undoubtedly
, when a kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
his learning from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, in the coming time he
also
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "learns", "learned", "learnt".
learn
about their social values.
For instance
, in student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
he or she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
making friends
as well
as sharing of things.
Moreover
, learn about how
Consider using "all the".
all of the
friends care about each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.
On the whole
, by gaining these habits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in making a better person of the society.

To conclude
, family and friends, both are taking a major part in the name of the social and moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the one. There is no meaning of a person, in the society with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
education and upbringing both plays a great role in it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay The table and pie chart shows the number of research students in Australian universities in 2001 and 2010.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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