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The study covering information about quantity of water which is used in two various countries (Brazil and Congo), from 1990 to 2000 shows that the most part of water was used by agriculture.

The study covering information about quantity of water which is used in two various countries (Brazil and Congo), from 1990 to 2000 shows that the most part of water was used by agriculture. 52PLp
At the beginning of the period, approximately 5, 00 km3 water used for agriculture, and it rised rapidly to 500km3 during 40 years. After that it continued rising till 2000, from 1, 000 km3 to 3, 000 km3. In 20th century, roughly 200 km3 water used for industry. Next almost it not changed between 1900 and 1940, but after that year it grew sharply by the end of the period approximately at 1, 200 km3. Between 1900 and 2000, equal amounts of water were used for domestic and industrial purposes. After that amount of water which is used for domestic use was increased dramatically to 200 km3 untill 2000. As well as, population of Brazil was more than Congo's population to 170. 8 million. And irrigated land was more in Brazil than Congo. For this reasons, water consumption per person was more too in Brazil to 351 m3.
At the beginning of the period, approximately 5, 00 km3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture, and it
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
rapidly
to 500km3 during 40 years. After that it continued rising till 2000, from 1, 000 km3 to 3, 000 km3. In 20th century, roughly 200 km3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for industry.
Next
almost it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
between 1900 and 1940,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after that year it grew
sharply
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period approximately at 1, 200 km3. Between 1900 and 2000, equal amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for domestic and industrial purposes. After that amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
was increased
dramatically
to 200 km3
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
2000.

As well
as, population of Brazil was more than Congo's population to 170. 8 million. And irrigated land was more in Brazil than Congo. For
Did you mean "these"?
this
reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption per person was more too in Brazil to 351 m3.
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IELTS essay The study covering information about quantity of water which is used in two various countries (Brazil and Congo), from 1990 to 2000 shows that the most part of water was used by agriculture.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
148 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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