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Economic prosperity would not make individuals happy, when in cultures that have already gathered great wealth. Some people believe that money is not important for being happy, this wealth gap makes people more depressed. Yes it is true, but i complitely disagree with this view.

Economic prosperity would not make individuals happy, when in cultures that have already gathered great wealth. Some people believe that money is not important for being happy, this wealth gap makes people more depressed. Yes it is true, but i complitely disagree with this view. 0BKwn
One scientist says that we need basic things such as, food, air, water, and shelter to be more satisfied. For a lot of people more wealth means being better able to have these basic needs. As a result of this, the quality of education will improve. After that more people will be more free time. And people can spend more their times with their family and friends. It is useful for society too. Because, free time with family and friends makes society more content. Also, consumerism can increase, because people like to look and feel beautiful. And people like newest of all things. Increased wealth will also help to improve\develop roads and transports. Because, it saves people time and prevents road fatalities. In conculision, it is not easy for people being happy without economic prosperity. If people have great wealth without basic needs such as, water, fresh air, gas, health, and etc, they can not be happy. Person always wants the best of everything. So I think economic well-being is an important part of being happy
One scientist says that we need basic things such as, food, air, water, and shelter to be more satisfied. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more wealth means being better able to have these basic needs.
As a result
of this, the quality of education will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can spend more their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with their family and friends. It is useful for society too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family and friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
society more content.

Also
, consumerism can increase,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to look and feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like newest of all things. Increased wealth will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
\develop roads and transports.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
road fatalities.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conculision
, it is not easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being happy without economic prosperity. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have great wealth without basic needs such as, water, fresh air, gas, health,
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
, they can not be happy. Person always wants the best of everything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
economic well-being is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of being
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
happy
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IELTS essay Economic prosperity would not make individuals happy, when in cultures that have already gathered great wealth. Some people believe that money is not important for being happy, this wealth gap makes people more depressed. Yes it is true, but i complitely disagree with this view.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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