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The spread of multinational companies and globalization is increasing with time. Some people say that it will bring positive effects for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

The spread of multinational companies and globalization is increasing with time. Some people say that it will bring positive effects for everyone. KWyVM
From a recent study, there are many conceptions on how society will be benefited on a wide range because of foreign companies which work globally. I totally agree to this, as many professionals will have a bright career working with overseas organisations. Firstly, when country accepts to setup companies which are based out of different nations will aid to cut a monopoly in market. This is due to distinct options available in market and people get to choose based on their interest and preferences. Like, in clothing sector when there is quick shift in trends one can select firms which have dresses similar to fashion. So when there is an inflow of organisations, it will satisfy the needs and increase in technology. Secondly, there will be a definite increase in employment which leads to countries development. Also apart from this we get access to new things which we are not aware of. However, multinational companies will have a different working culture; this can be used in many ways. For instance Google Company having fine working culture compared to others, so this can lead to improvement with their competitors. Hence more people will get opportunity to work in their desired firm. Therefore, I agree that globalization will help society in numerous ways which I explained above. This can also definitely leads to few drawbacks but having said that it will be more beneficial in long run. People need to use this resource in right direction. To summarise, foreign enterprises will always have a positive effect in countries development. This results in economical and social enhancement.
From a recent study, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conceptions on how society will
be benefited
on a wide range
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which work globally. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals will have a bright career working with overseas
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.

Firstly
, when country accepts
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to setup
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which
are based
out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations will aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
a monopoly in market. This is due to distinct options available in market and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to choose based on their interest and preferences. Like, in clothing sector when there is quick shift in trends one can select firms which have dresses similar to fashion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when there is an inflow of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, it will satisfy the needs and increase in technology.

Secondly
, there will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
increase in employment which leads to countries development.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
apart from this we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to new things which we are not aware of.
However
, multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
working culture; this can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For instance
Google
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
having fine working culture compared to others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this can lead to improvement with their competitors.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity to work in their desired firm.

Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that globalization will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
society in numerous ways which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above. This can
also
definitely leads
Did you mean "too"?
to
few drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having said that it will be more beneficial in long run.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this resource in right direction.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, foreign enterprises will always have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect in countries development. This results in economical and social enhancement.
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IELTS essay The spread of multinational companies and globalization is increasing with time. Some people say that it will bring positive effects for everyone.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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