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ONLINE SHOPPING. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES

ONLINE SHOPPING. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES Ll9bR
In this day and age, with the development of technology and the advent of various e-commerce platforms, consumers have been offered many choices of purchasing their favorite products. From my personal perspective, this current trend of shopping confers (brings about) many benefits in terms of cost and time, even though there may be several cautions which should be taken into consideration while buying goods online. On the one hand, there are two main merits when it comes to shopping online. First and foremost, virtual stores provide time-saving services to their customers who could probably surf on the internet and select their merchandise needed while enjoying the comfort of their own homes. For example, in the middle of this pandemic caused by Covid19, obtaining essential items would have been extremely difficult if there were no online shopping services. Furthermore, since small businesses selling their products online do not have to incur a tremendous amount of cost such as paying rent or commissions for offline sales, prices on these platforms are more competitive than those sold in physical outlets. As a result, buyers are more keen on choosing this method of shopping. On the other hand, security and cyber threats are the most serious/significant concerns among many. To begin with, credit card information is likely to be leaked and hacked due to the vulnerability of internet firewall, which causes unexpected incidents of payments or embezzlements. In addition, displayed photos of the targeted products might be manipulated to make them more attractive than they actually are. How would a customer feel if they bought a dress which was clearly different in quality as stated on the website and did not fit them well? Hence, these could prevent buyers from deciding to shop online. To sum up, although virtual shopping markets have been transforming our modern economy by bringing many positive sides such as time-saving features and promotional cost-effective programs, they might contain several risks including cyber scams or security loopholes. Smart shoppers, therefore, should be cautious when purchasing any item on the internet.
In this day and age, with the development of technology and the advent of various e-commerce platforms, consumers have
been offered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices of purchasing their favorite products. From my personal perspective, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
confers (brings about)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits in terms of cost and time,
even though
there may be several cautions which should
be taken
into consideration while buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
online.

On the one hand, there are two main merits when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online.
First
and foremost, virtual stores provide time-saving services to their customers who could
probably
surf on the internet and select their merchandise needed while enjoying the comfort of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
homes.
For example
, in the middle of this pandemic caused by
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid19
, obtaining essential items would have been
extremely
difficult if there were no online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
services.
Furthermore
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
businesses selling their products online do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
incur a tremendous amount of cost such as paying rent or commissions for offline sales, prices on these platforms are more competitive than those sold in physical outlets.
As a result
, buyers are more keen on choosing this method of shopping.

On the other hand
, security and cyber threats are the most serious/significant concerns among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, credit card information is likely to
be leaked
and hacked due to the vulnerability of internet firewall, which causes unexpected incidents of payments or
Possible spelling mistake found.
embezzlements
.
In addition
, displayed photos of the targeted products might
be manipulated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more attractive than they actually are. How would a customer feel if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a dress which was
clearly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in quality as stated on the website and did not fit them well?
Hence
, these could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
buyers from deciding to shop online.

To sum up, although virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
markets have been transforming our modern economy by bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides such as time-saving features and promotional cost-effective programs, they might contain several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
including cyber scams or security loopholes. Smart shoppers,
therefore
, should be cautious when purchasing any item on the internet.
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IELTS essay ONLINE SHOPPING. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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