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The shown picture describes the modification of an area after 5 years from 2005 to 2010

The shown picture describes the modification of an area after 5 years from 2005 to 2010 PLdnX
The shown picture describes the modification of an area after 5 years from 2005 to 2010. Generally speaking, with the rapid development of the economy, the town had a dramatically alteration in term of amenities. On the west side, use the disused railway as a boundary, the factory in the top left-hand corner, which surrounded by many trees, had no variation after 5 years period. Directly opposite the factory’s area was the port, in 2010, the warehouse was built next to it. Beside the mainroad, which through the river, in front of the hotel trees were cleared for the construction of the hospital to improve people quality of life. Meanwhile, a long distance away on the north, the railway station was erected on the left of the disused railway. On the east side, the farm in the top right-hand corner was demolished for the opening of the golf course. In addition, the new road from the old one to the golf course was constructed. The new bus station was opened and placed next to the new road, whilst the older on the south side was replace by the car park. The church was in proximity close to the bus stop still standed in its situation after 5 years changing. It was also the same with the filling coffee and the restaurant, which were on the opposite side of the road with the church.
The shown picture
describes
the modification of an area after 5 years from 2005 to 2010.
Generally
speaking, with the rapid development of the economy, the town had a
dramatically alteration
in term of amenities.

On the west side,
use
the disused railway as a boundary, the factory in the top
left
-hand corner, which surrounded by
many
trees, had no variation after 5 years period.
Directly
opposite the factory’s area was the port, in 2010, the warehouse
was built
next
to it. Beside the
mainroad
, which through the river, in front of the hotel trees
were cleared
for the construction of the hospital to
improve
people
quality of life. Meanwhile, a long distance away on the north, the railway station
was erected
on the
left
of the disused railway.

On the east side, the farm in the top right-hand corner
was demolished
for the opening of the golf course.
In addition
, the new road from the
old
one to the golf course
was constructed
. The new bus station
was opened
and placed
next
to the new road, whilst the older on the south side was
replace
by the car park. The church was in proximity close to the bus
stop
still
standed
in its situation after 5 years changing. It was
also
the same with the filling coffee and the restaurant, which were on the opposite side of the road with the church.
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IELTS essay The shown picture describes the modification of an area after 5 years from 2005 to 2010

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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