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The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern life. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern life. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
It is undoubtedly true that the modern living is increasingly heading in a fast pace stage. While the existence of the fast foods made life easier, I believe that it has some serious drawbacks to consider. It is agreed that the disadvantages of obesity-related diseases outweigh advantages of effortless food preparation as it will be discussed. The prime advantage of the easily ready to eat foods is the time essence. Since most of the people are working or engage in some activities, relying on ready cook foods will make them manage their time effectively. For example, in the recent survey at the University of Brisbane, respondents who are mostly students in the higher years at the university, agreed that an enormous amount of time was saved by simply consuming foods available in the fast food chains. In contrast, if the student will cook every meal for themselves, the time that they can be devoted to studying will be lessened. The main disadvantage of fast foods recipe is its nutritional content. The reason for this is that majority of convenience foods which is offered by most restaurants have a high content of fats. This unwanted bad cholesterol in the body will not be burned and will possibly cause obesity especially for the younger generation. For instance, in the research study at Medical Hospital of Canada claimed that 80% of the patients who are at a high risk of the chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease are consuming a great amount of fast food. This is clearly evident that the long-term consumption of fast foods will lead to a very serious medical conditions in the future. In conclusion, the disadvantages of a severe medical condition for long time consumption of fast foods outweigh the advantage of less effort in the preparation of food.
It is
undoubtedly
true that the modern living is
increasingly
heading in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
pace stage. While the existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
made life easier, I believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious drawbacks to consider. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the disadvantages of obesity-related diseases outweigh advantages of effortless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation as it will
be discussed
.

The prime advantage of the
easily
ready to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
essence. Since most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working or engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities, relying on ready cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
effectively
.
For example
, in the recent survey at the University of Brisbane, respondents who are
mostly
students in the higher years at the university,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was saved
by
simply
consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
chains.
In contrast
, if the student will cook every meal for themselves, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that they can
be devoted
to studying will
be lessened
.

The main disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "foods'" or "food's"?
foods
recipe is its nutritional content.
The reason for this is
that majority of convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which
is offered
by most restaurants have a high content of fats. This unwanted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
cholesterol in the body will not
be burned
and will
possibly
cause obesity
especially
for the younger generation.
For instance
, in the research study at Medical Hospital of Canada claimed that 80% of the patients who are at a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of the chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease are consuming a great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. This is
clearly
evident that the long-term consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
will lead to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious medical conditions in the future.

In conclusion
, the disadvantages of a severe medical condition for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
outweigh the advantage of less effort in the preparation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The rise of convenience food has helped people keep up with the speed of modern life. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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