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The rise of consumer culture in modern times has reduced the quality and craftsmanship of products compared to in the past.This has had many negative effects?

The rise of consumer culture in modern times has reduced the quality and craftsmanship of products compared to in the past. This has had many negative effects? r8eYL
In recent years consumer culture has become increasingly popular, and some people argue that brands deliberately lower the quality of their product, while others think that the level of production has not changed. I completely disagree with idea that these manufacturers spoil their items for purposes. In my opinion, brands are more likely to improve or develop their current products to attract a large number of people, in consequence of it other brands develop a competitive spirit that allows them to always invent something new and fresh. As we know, competition between different companies frequently pleases consumers, since in such battles they are the main target of brands, or rather their attention to their goods. Furthermore, popular brands are required to undergo quality control of their products in order to maintain their high status, many companies cant attract enough customers due to a lack of consumer confidence. For example, consumers usually expect the high quality of their purchase that has been bought in well-known companies more than from companies that have little fame. However, some people believe that famous brands no longer pay attention to the details and quality of their goods, but their quantity. For instance, the new ''PlayStation'' that came out quite recently scattered in large circulation which made Sony company release this particular model more than others, as result, a minor number of purchasers were able to notice the shortcomings. Nevertheless, companies often apologize and change your broken model to a new one. Despite this, a defect among products is found everywhere and often it is a fault of the factories in which they are produced. Taking into consideration all mentioned above, I believe that modern brands carry out their work better than in the past times.
In recent
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "years'" or "year's"?
years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
culture has become
increasingly
popular, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
deliberately
lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the level of production has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. I completely disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that these manufacturers spoil their items for purposes.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
or develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to attract
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in consequence of it other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
develop a competitive spirit that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to always invent something new and fresh. As we know, competition between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
, since in such battles they are the main target of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, or
rather
their attention to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Furthermore
, popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are required
to undergo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
control of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in order to maintain their high status,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
customers due to a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
confidence.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
that has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
more than from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fame.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
no longer pay attention to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their quantity.
For instance
, the new ''PlayStation'' that came out quite recently scattered in large circulation which made Sony
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
release this particular model more than others, as result, a minor number of purchasers were able to notice the shortcomings.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
apologize and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your broken model to a new one. Despite this, a defect among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is found
everywhere and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
it is a fault of the factories in which they
are produced
.

Taking into consideration all mentioned above, I believe that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
carry out their work better than in the past times.
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IELTS essay The rise of consumer culture in modern times has reduced the quality and craftsmanship of products compared to in the past. This has had many negative effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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