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The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What is Love to a child? Love is the Bond, Affection, Caring Receives From Both Mother and Father At Same Time. In Today's Era The Caring Or Responsibility Towards Children Plays A Vital Role And For That Both Mother And Father Plays A Huge Role In Every Childs Life. Responsibility Towards Children Varies In Mother And Fathers Norms. Mother's Love Is the First Love in Kids Life. That Love Helps Children To Understand The Values Of Love, Caring. While Mother Gives u Warm Love A Child Receives Care And Love From Father in Many Other Ways Which Makes Them Strong And Hard And Helps Them TO Fight Against All The ODDS Which Society Throws At Them. That's why In Every Children Life Mother And Father Are So Crucial as Its Like 2 Sides Of a Coin And Both Of There Responsibilities and plays a vital Role. From my Conclusion Point of view the responsibility of bringing up children Should be Shared Between Mother And Father as it gives different values and also helps out each other as sole responsibility might take a negative impact on children life.
What is
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Love
to a child?
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Love
is the Bond, Affection, Caring Receives From Both
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Mother
and
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Father
At Same Time. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's Era The Caring Or
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Responsibility
Towards
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Children
Plays A Vital Role And For That Both
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Mother
And
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Father
Plays A Huge Role In Every
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childs
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Life
.
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Responsibility
Towards
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Children
Varies In
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Mother
And
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Fathers
Norms. Mother's
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Love
Is the
First
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Love
in Kids
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Life
. That
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Love
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Helps
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Children
To Understand The Values Of
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Love
, Caring. While
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Mother
Gives u Warm
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Love
A Child Receives Care And
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Love
From
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Father
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Other Ways Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Makes
Them Strong And
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Hard
And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Helps
Them TO Fight Against All The ODDS Which Society Throws At Them. That's why In Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Father
Are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Crucial as Its Like 2 Sides Of a Coin And Both Of
Did you mean “their”?
There
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Responsibilities
and plays a vital Role. From my Conclusion Point of view the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of bringing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Should
be Shared
Between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mother
And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Father
as it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
out each other as sole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
might take a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.

IELTS essay The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
187 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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