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the reasons and solution of pollution

the reasons and solution of pollution YdqGm
Pollution has some reasons. (speaking/ writing) Firstly, The factories use toxic acidic materials because they produce food/ agricultural products. they send toxic gases to air. So, the air the weather / becomes polluted. Secondly, the advanced countries produce a lot of cars that are bad/ harmful for the weather/ environment. In other words They Are environmentally friendly. But third world countries use a lot of old machines/ cars/ vehicles. So, they pollute the air. In other words, the people have a lot of personal cars. when people use personal cars, there is traffic. Traffic leads to pollution because they send exhaust fumes. The pollution has some solutions. One solution is that the government make public transportation. The people use less personal cars. When there is not traffic, the weather is clear. Another solution is that the factories have heavy industry should be out of the city because they polluted the air. In conclusion, I think if there is not pollution, the people are healthy and so the people and government solve the pollution problem together.
Pollution
has
some
reasons. (speaking/ writing)

Firstly
, The factories
use
toxic acidic materials
because
they produce food/ agricultural products.
they
send
toxic gases to air.
So
, the air the weather / becomes polluted.

Secondly
, the advanced countries produce
a lot of
cars that are
bad
/ harmful for the weather/ environment.
In other words
They Are
environmentally
friendly.
But
third world countries
use
a lot of
old
machines/ cars/ vehicles.
So
, they pollute the air.
In other words
, the
people
have
a lot of
personal cars.
when
people
use
personal cars, there is traffic. Traffic leads to
pollution
because
they
send
exhaust fumes.

The
pollution
has
some
solutions.

One solution is that the
government
make
public transportation. The
people
use
less personal cars.

When there is not traffic, the weather is
clear
.

Another solution is that the factories have heavy industry should be out of the city
because
they polluted the air.

In conclusion
, I
think
if there is not
pollution
, the
people
are healthy and
so
the
people
and
government
solve the
pollution
problem together.
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IELTS essay the reasons and solution of pollution

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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