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The Reason Why I Like Education

The Reason Why I Like Education 15bey
Nowadays, education was considered as an imperative thing for a successful future. This essay will discuss why I am fond of schooling. Firstly, education is the master key and a pillar for a better life. It provides everyone with a secured tenure, also love one’s, families and near kin can be benefited. To illustrate, if everybody chooses to procure the best education they do not need to suffer toiling under the stricken heat of the sun just to provide the basic needs for their families. Hence, education is pivotal to everyone. Secondly, those who attained a university degree had improved their status in the society. However, every merit was credited from the loving and caring parents who never get tired sacrificing everything for their children’s sake. Without their support and perseverance improvement of status through education was far from the reality. Thirdly, individuals who seek master’s degree and never get tedious in studying gained a better salary. They attained financial freedom through studying diligently, since their abilities are in demand in the present society. These people were ravishing and enjoying the fruit of hard work that they endured earlier in life. Fourthly, education was considered a life time process. Everything cannot be acquired in going to universities only. In our day to day activities everyone is on the process of educating themselves. Socializing and doing our household chores is a part of education. To illustrate, as we learn a new technique in cooking a certain dish, it was part of learning as well, so we do not have to conclude that education can be acquire at school exclusively. Finally, education was one of the concrete things we learned daily. It is the permanent thing parents can hand-over to their children. Nobody can take it from anyone, in fact that is the only thing anyone can bring to their graves. Wealth and material things lost its value easily, it was either stolen or broken, but education is so vital for a better life, improves the status quo and aids everyone to live comfortably.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was considered
as an imperative thing for a successful future. This essay will discuss why I am fond of schooling.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the master key and a pillar for a better life. It provides everyone with a secured tenure,
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
one’s, families and near kin can
be benefited
. To illustrate, if everybody chooses to procure the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they do not need to suffer toiling under the stricken heat of the sun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to provide the basic needs for their families.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is pivotal to everyone.

Secondly
, those who attained a university degree had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their status in the society.
However
, every merit
was credited
from the loving and caring parents who never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired sacrificing everything for their children’s sake. Without their support and perseverance improvement of status through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was far from the reality.

Thirdly
, individuals who seek master’s degree and never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tedious in studying gained a better salary. They attained financial freedom through studying
diligently
, since their abilities are in demand in the present society. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were ravishing and enjoying the fruit of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work that they endured earlier in life.

Fourthly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was considered
a
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
process. Everything cannot
be acquired
in going to universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. In our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities everyone is on the process of educating themselves. Socializing and doing our household chores is a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. To illustrate, as we learn a new technique in cooking a certain dish, it was part of learning
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we do not have
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can be
Consider using the past participle "acquired"?
acquire
at school exclusively.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was one of the concrete things we learned daily. It is the permanent thing parents can hand-over to their children. Nobody can take it from anyone, in fact
that is
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing anyone can bring to their graves. Wealth and material things lost its value
easily
, it was either stolen or broken,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vital for a better life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the status quo and aids everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
comfortably
.
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IELTS essay The Reason Why I Like Education

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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