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"All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have co

" All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have co XG76O
The letter of a school in Centerville town recommends that a compulsory driver’s education course should be given to teenagers as most of the accident occurred over the past 2 years around the town is done by teenage drivers. This conclusion is based on the assumptions that parents neither have time to teach their kids nor they have money to send their teenagers to a driving school. However, as more light is shed on the issue and more detailed facts are concerned, lack of answers through the argument leads me to question its validity. First of all, how effective can the driving course be which will be offered in the school? In other words, how good will it have an impact on the students? It is possible that students might study for passing the exam for their marks but they might not take the course as serious as it should be taken. If the above mentioned assumption is merit, then the argument is weakened. Secondly, will there be any practical lessons offered in the course? Until and unless there is a practical knowledge on driving a vehicle, there won’t be any change just because of the class. It is possible that an apprentice cannot drive a vehicle just because he got a top grade in the course. Perhaps, teenager might think he has good theoretical knowledge so that he can drive a vehicle. This leads to more number of accidents and risk of accidents. If the above scenario is true, then the argument does not hold water. Finally, even if the practical lessons are offered, how can they offer to a large number of students? Just to have a limited time of practical class doesn’t have an impact on the teenager driving. The young person must practice and he must get habituated to the car and roads, otherwise there might be a chance of hitting a car or tree. If the above mentioned is true, then the argument doesn’t hold any strength. In conclusion, the argument, which stands as of now, is considerably flawed. However, if the author is able to offer more evidence and can answer above mentioned question, it is possible to evaluate the conclusion completely.
The letter of a school in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Centerville
town recommends that a compulsory driver’s education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
as most of the accident occurred over the past 2 years around the town
is done
by teenage drivers. This conclusion
is based
on the assumptions that parents neither have time to teach their
Use a comma before 'nor' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kids nor
they have money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
school.
However
, as more light
is shed
on the issue and more detailed facts
are concerned
, lack of answers through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
leads me to question its validity.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, how effective can the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
be which will
be offered
in the school?
In other words
, how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
will it have an impact on the students? It is possible that students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
study for passing the exam for their marks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
as serious as it should
be taken
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
mentioned assumption is merit, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is weakened
.

Secondly
, will there be any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
lessons offered in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
? Until and unless there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
knowledge on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a vehicle, there won’t be any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. It is possible that an apprentice cannot drive a vehicle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a top grade in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
. Perhaps,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
theoretical knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can drive a vehicle. This leads to more number of accidents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of accidents. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
scenario is true, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
does not hold water.

Finally
, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
lessons
are offered
, how can they offer to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
students?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
to have a limited time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
doesn’t have an impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. The young person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practice and
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
habituated to the car and roads,
otherwise
there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be a chance of hitting a car or tree. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
mentioned is true, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
doesn’t hold any strength.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, which stands as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, is
considerably
flawed.
However
, if the author is able to offer more evidence and can answer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
above
mentioned question, it is possible to evaluate the conclusion completely.
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IELTS essay " All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have co

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • "All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have co