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Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have

Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have ljqGJ
Pirouttes ballet School is the best choice of any kid to learn dance. The author concludes this based on the assumption that this particular school has most intensive program, teachers who danced in the prestigious ballet organizations and many of the students are professional dancers associated with the top dance companies. However, after more light is shed on the issue and more detailed facts are concerned, lack of answers through argument leads me to question its validity. First of all, how effective is the program offered? In other words, how good is the program for a beginner? How good are teachers for students who are obdurate. There might be a case where student cannot cope up with the program which is intensive and kid might feel stressed. Stress doesn't help in learning dance. If the above mentioned scenario is true, then the argument is weakened. Secondly, if a dancer dances in an even which is reputated does that mean they are good teachers? Dancing is different and teaching dance is different. Every good dancer cannot be a good teacher. It is possible that a person can have extreme dance skills but no teaching skills. This doesn't help in teaching dance for the kids. if the above assumption is merit, then the argument does not hold water. Finally, did every student who learnt the dance from the school is successful? The author states that many of the students are associated with the top organizations but what is the percentage of the success ratio of the students who learnt from the school. To conclude, the argument, stands as of now, is flawed. However, if the author provides more evidence ans answers to the above questions, then argument can be evaluaated possibly.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pirouttes
ballet School is the best choice of any kid to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
. The author concludes this based on the assumption that this particular school has most intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
danced in the prestigious ballet organizations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are professional dancers associated with the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
However
, after more light
is shed
on the issue and more detailed facts
are concerned
, lack of answers through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
leads me to question its validity.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, how effective is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
offered?
In other words
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
for a beginner? How
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are obdurate. There might be a case where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot cope up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
which is intensive and kid might feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
. If the above mentioned scenario is true, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is weakened
.

Secondly
, if a dancer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dances
in an even which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
reputated
does that mean they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
? Dancing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
dancer cannot be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. It is possible that a person can have extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
for the kids.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
the above assumption is merit, then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
does not hold water.

Finally
, did every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dance
from the school is successful? The author states that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are associated
with the top organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what is the percentage of the success ratio of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the school.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, stands as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
is flawed
.
However
, if the author provides more evidence ans answers to the above questions, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
evaluaated
possibly
.
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IELTS essay Pirouettes Ballet School is the clear choice for any child. Of all the dance schools in Elmtown, Pirouettes has the most intensive program, and our teachers have danced in the most prestigious ballet companies all over the world. Many of our students have

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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