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The reason why children nowadays do not spend as time reading as children in the past

The reason why children nowadays do not spend as time reading as children in the past VwwlD
In the present age, children spend less time reading than children in the past due to some reasons. First, there are a variety of interesting entertainment such as video games, films, and so on that take almost the leisure time of children. Therefore, they do not have any time to read books. Moreover, children nowadays have to do a lot of homeworks everyday, even in special ocassions like Tets or Mid-Autumn Festivals. Maybe they are exhausted after studying so they just want to relax instead of reading books and thinking. Finally, children do not see the point of reading. They have never experienced the joy of learning something new or just getting lost in a favorite story so reading is as same as a work with no results for them. It is the reason why even if they have free time, they would rather to participate in other activities than reading books. In conclusion, there are many factors which decrease the rate of reading in children. The attraction of modern entertaining ways, the pressure of studying and opinion about reading make children uncare about this activity.
In the present age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
First
, there are a variety of interesting entertainment such as video games, films, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on that take almost the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, they do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to read books.
Moreover
,
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children
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, even in special
Possible spelling mistake found.
ocassions
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tets
or Mid-Autumn Festivals. Maybe they
are exhausted
after studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to relax
instead
of
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reading
books and thinking.
Finally
,
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children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. They have never experienced the joy of learning something new or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
getting lost in a favorite story
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is as same as a work with no results for them. It is the reason why even if they have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they would
rather
to participate in other activities than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books.
In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which decrease the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The attraction of modern entertaining ways, the pressure of studying and opinion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncare
about this activity.
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IELTS essay The reason why children nowadays do not spend as time reading as children in the past

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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