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The quantity of children in each family over the past decades were more than when compared to family size in the modern world

The quantity of children in each family over the past decades were more than when compared to family size in the modern world OMbNM
The quantity of children in each family over the past decades were more than when compared to family size in the modern world. Although there were some drawbacks of having several children, I still believe that the benefits involed were more. The first thing I mentioned about advantages of living a large family is communication. That is to say, the children that grow up in families with more people show better social behaviour and can easily enhance their relationship at school and society. A good illustration this is teamwork activities at school, which student coming from big families could probably adopt themselves sooner. Secondly, when children had grown up, parents would not feel lonely because the members would be more and bigger. Furthermore, the children could collaborate to work together. For example, elder brothers could take care of children when their parents went to work, and also younger brothers learned many things from them. However, the disadvantages cannot be ignore. To begin with, by increasing the number of children in families, the amount of necessities to support their needs should be quite enough. Therefore, provide all facilities to live are more likely easier to small families. Take a house for living parents and children together as an example, providing that how much families are small the houses have sufficient rooms to leave, but in big families' children would be share rooms together and less freedom. To sum up, large families certainly had their drawbacks, but it is visible that the benefits outweighed in long term. In my opinion, this saying is always true: “ the more the merrier”.
The quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
over the past decades were more than when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
size in the modern world. Although there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of having several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
still
believe that the benefits
Possible spelling mistake found.
involed
were more.

The
first
thing I
Did you mean simply "mentioned advantages"? You do not need the word "about" here.
mentioned about advantages
of living a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is communication.
That is
to say, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that grow up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
better social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and can
easily
enhance their relationship at school and society. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration this is teamwork activities at school, which student coming from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
could
probably
adopt themselves sooner.

Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had grown up, parents would not feel lonely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the members would be more and bigger.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could collaborate to work together.
For example
, elder brothers could take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when their parents went to work, and
also
younger brothers learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from them.

However
, the disadvantages cannot be
Consider using the past participle "ignored"?
ignore
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, by increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, the amount of necessities to support their needs should be quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Therefore
, provide all facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
are more likely easier to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
for living parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
together as an example, providing that how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
have sufficient rooms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
families'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be share rooms together and less freedom.

To sum up, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
certainly
had their drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is visible that the benefits outweighed in long term. In my opinion, this saying is always true:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
the more the merrier”.
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IELTS essay The quantity of children in each family over the past decades were more than when compared to family size in the modern world

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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