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In some places like Japan it is required to wear uniforms all throughout high school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniforms in school. Or what are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?

In some places like Japan it is required to wear uniforms all throughout high school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniforms in school. Or what are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform? LB8PR
It is true that some countries like Japan or Mongolia they require to wear school uniforms while in other countries like America, students allow wearing free clothing. They have both benefits and drawbacks to wearing uniforms in school. This essay will discuss eliminates discrimination is an advantage although the bad quality is the disadvantage of wearing uniforms. The biggest advantage of wearing a uniform is that there is no discrimination. In some secondary or high school where pupils can wear whatever they want, rich pupil put on trendy and expensive clothes whereas poor children dress cheap and casual. Consequently, poor children are bullied on the basis of their clothes. Thus, the school’s same dress code creates no difference between rich and poor students and creates a positive and happy environment among the students. According to Mongolian statistic data, after wearing uniforms in school the discrimination declined by 35% is the one clear example. Nevertheless, despite the benefits, there are certain drawbacks. One of the most main disadvantages is the bad quality of the uniform. When pupils move freely that could be torn easily. Moreover, those uniforms are made of cheaper material, and it unlikely to breathe freely. Because of these reasons, parents need to buy two or three sets of school clothes in a year. For instance, this year my daughter started going to elementary school for first grade, and after I purchased her school uniform, then I washed it the first time, it lost color. Thus, I had to buy other uniforms. To sum up, the uniform has the benefit of eradicating discrimination however it may also be the drawback of poor quality of the uniform.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries like Japan or Mongolia they require
Did you mean "wearing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
while in other countries like America, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
wearing free clothing. They have both benefits and drawbacks to wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This essay will discuss eliminates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
is an advantage although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality is the disadvantage of wearing uniforms.

The biggest advantage of wearing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is that there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
secondary or high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
where pupils can wear whatever they want, rich pupil put on trendy and expensive clothes whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
children dress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and casual.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
children
are bullied
on the basis of their clothes.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
same dress code creates no difference between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
students and creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and happy environment among the students. According to Mongolian statistic data, after wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
declined by 35% is the one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example.

Nevertheless
, despite the benefits, there are certain drawbacks. One of the most main disadvantages is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
that could
be torn
easily
.
Moreover
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are made
of cheaper material, and it unlikely to breathe
freely
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these reasons, parents need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
two or three sets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
clothes in a year.
For instance
, this year my daughter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
going to elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for
first
grade, and after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, then I washed it the
first
time, it lost color.
Thus
, I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
other uniforms.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
has the benefit of eradicating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
however
it may
also
be the drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
.
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IELTS essay In some places like Japan it is required to wear uniforms all throughout high school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of wearing uniforms in school. Or what are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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