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The qualities that help people reach success in modern life cannot be learned in university or other academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The qualities that help people reach success in modern life cannot be learned in university or other academic institutions. with this statement? GwNg2
In these days, citizens believed that people can be successful although they do not study at university or have other academic qualifications. In my perspective, I believe that students should study at university or similar academic institutions. I agree that student graduating high school should attend university or academic courses if they want to reach achievement in their life. Firstly, undergraduates can acquire a base knowledge about their major in universities or college. Students can be provided a numerous number of theories and experienced from the lecturers who reach success in their fields. For example, lectures in universities are the masters or doctors about your major, you not only learn from them the knowledge but also they share the real experiences, skills and data, you may be not find in libraries. Besides, the undergraduates can create wide and academic visions while the people who do not attend at universities or college. University is the best place help you can have opportunities to develop knowledge and give you direction in your life. I also accept that learn from real activities have positive sides cannot deny. Many skills, the knowledge you cannot learn in universities or colleges, you have to practice to get experiences. Futhermore, knowledge in universities is quite different from the real life. However, academic course such as universities or colleges play an essential role in your vision and your future. Many careers require the academic knowledge like doctors, engineers, …. so if you want to be successful, learning in universities or academic institutions. In conclusion, I believe that universities is the one of best way help individuals can reach successes, but you have to learn from real skills, activities to improve yourself.
In these days, citizens believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be successful although they do not study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or have other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
qualifications. In my perspective, I believe that students should study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
institutions.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that student
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduating from".
graduating
high school should attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
courses if they want to reach achievement in their life.
Firstly
, undergraduates can acquire a base
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about their major in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or college. Students can
be provided
a numerous number of theories and experienced from the lecturers who reach success in their fields.
For example
, lectures in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are the masters or doctors about your major, you not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they share the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
experiences,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and data, you may be not
Consider using a past participle here: "found".
find
in libraries.
Besides
, the undergraduates can create wide and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
visions while the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not attend at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or college.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
is the best place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you can have opportunities to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and give you direction in your life.

I
also
accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
activities have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides cannot deny.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or colleges, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
practice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experiences.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
course such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or colleges play an essential role in your vision and your future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
careers require the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
like doctors, engineers, ….
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
if you want to be successful, learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
institutions.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is the one
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the best".
of best
way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals can reach successes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
yourself.
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IELTS essay The qualities that help people reach success in modern life cannot be learned in university or other academic institutions. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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