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The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often discussed by many social media influencers that they help humans connect to their loved one visually, but on the other hand it is told that it peaks into user’s personal information. Before concluding I would like to discuss both the sides below. Firstly, social websites often help us to reach out to people virtually at any time. These platforms also let us share huge information in many ways and one can know what’s happening all around the world. For instance, when we take WhatsApp, a platform which is very helpful to us connecting people who are distant and make us spend time with them. We can also share our pictures and stories which are happening currently in our life’s, making our loved one’s and friends know. However, there are sites which are harmful and are not secured to our personal life’s. These websites take our info which may lead to cybercrimes. Currently, it is burning news that, Facebook is now not secured because of their changes in data privacy and security field. This may show us few relatable advertising in different ways which we are often sharing in the same platform. Since, cyber-attacks often happen because attackers use this private information and pictures we post, which make people to often feel timid. To conclude, I would like to share that our presence in social platforms does not make our target to cybercrimes. Though it is often recommended not to share any personal information in these sites and enjoy knowing the world virtually.
It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
discussed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social media influencers that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
humans connect to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one
visually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that it peaks into user’s personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
concluding I would like to discuss both the sides below.

Firstly
, social websites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to reach out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
virtually
at any time. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and one can know what’s happening all around the world.
For instance
, when we take WhatsApp, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to us connecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are distant and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us spend time with them. We can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
our pictures and stories which are happening
currently
in our life’s, making our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one’s and friends know.

However
, there are sites which are harmful and are not secured to our personal life’s. These websites take our info which may lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybercrimes
.
Currently
, it is burning news that, Facebook is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not secured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in data privacy and security field. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us few relatable advertising in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways which we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
sharing in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
. Since, cyber-attacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
attackers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and pictures we post, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
feel timid.

To conclude
, I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
that our presence in social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platforms
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our target to
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybercrimes
. Though it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
recommended not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
any personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in these sites and enjoy knowing the world
virtually
.
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IELTS essay The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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