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The problems of the motorways

The problems of the motorways E7jeM
The motorways initiation and production was the biggest evolution in the urbanization industry. It helps people to commute to their works sooner and also it makes connections easier and faster. Motorways have many benefits but it has countless disadvantages too. First of all, in my opinion, the major difficulty with motorways is traffic. Every day after some special hours, we can see a huge traffic jam that is mostly affected by accidents and roadworks. Sometimes the traffic is standstill for many times. Furthermore, Traffic affects human's mental health. Another thing is air pollution. The quality of the fuel is not acceptable so in rush hours when the motorways are crowded, the co2 gas is spreading and the sky's colour is changed. The air pollution issue should be solved because it is hazardous for health. The community and the government should find some solution. I consider that the car seller companies should sell cars only to those who necessary need the vehicle. Secondly, the fare should be cheaper and the environments of the public transport could be cleaner and quiet, some relaxing music should be played with some boxes full of various books that are designed for trams. In this case, people don't feel exhausted in a long-distance direction. Next, the problem of pollution is resolvable in several ways. One of them is to provide high-quality petrol. Another thing is electrician cars which are not always useful. My idea is people should resist driving in short distance places. If people avoid using their cars and enjoy using public transport or walking, the traffic and the air pollution will be less than now. Finally, we should know that we have to change ourselves and our lifestyle first then expect others for everything. If we always do stuff that causes a lot of trouble and then blame it on others, nothing will be changed.
The motorways initiation and production was the biggest evolution in the urbanization industry. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commute to their works sooner and
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
connections easier and faster. Motorways have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has countless disadvantages too.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in my opinion, the major difficulty with motorways is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. Every day after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special hours, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam
that is
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by accidents and roadworks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is standstill for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
affects human's mental health. Another thing is air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The quality of the fuel is not acceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in rush hours when the motorways
are crowded
, the co2 gas is spreading and the sky's
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
issue should
be solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is hazardous for health.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
community and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution. I consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
seller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to those who necessary need the vehicle.
Secondly
, the fare should be cheaper and the environments of the public transport could be cleaner and quiet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relaxing music should
be played
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
boxes full of various books that
are designed
for trams.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't feel exhausted in a long-distance direction.
Next
, the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is resolvable in several ways. One of them is to provide high-quality petrol. Another thing is electrician
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which are not always useful. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should resist driving in short distance places. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and enjoy using public transport or walking, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
will be less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Finally
, we should know that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
ourselves and our lifestyle
first
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
others for everything. If we always do stuff that causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trouble and then blame it on others, nothing will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
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IELTS essay The problems of the motorways

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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