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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In today's Era, consumption of foods which are rich in fat have been increased. Even though being aware of side effects due to such type of food, people are increasingly consuming fast food for the sake of taste. The side effects are much severe and they can be responsible for detrimental effect on your health. While incrementing the price of food containing fat can be justifiable to some extent, I also argue that there are even more prominent ways which can be more beneficial in decreasing the intake of the fast food. Nowadays for the sake of enjoyment people spend immense amount of money. However, if a person is foodie and he finds eating different variety of food which are not at all healthy is enjoyment for him. Due to the fact at that instance the person would not care of spending great amount of money. As a result, increasing prices of fat containing food is not at all a relevant step. On the contrary, there are various steps which can be more beneficial and effective for decrementing the intake of the fast foods. One of the significant step is spreading awareness regarding the adverse effect of fattening foods. If different social media platforms are used in proper way then awareness can be spread significantly. However, nowadays almost every single person is utilizing social media platforms. For example, if a famous personality of politics or films encourages people by promoting the adverse effect of fattening food through any campaign then it can give positive outcomes. To conclude, according to me increasing the price of fattening food will not give fruitful output. However, Government should promote or increase awareness of people by educating them through some types of campaigns.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's Era, consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which are rich in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
have
been increased
.
Even though
being aware of side effects due to such type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
increasingly
consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for the sake of taste. The side effects are much
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
severe and
they can be responsible for detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on your health.

While incrementing the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
containing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
can be justifiable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
also
argue that there are even more prominent ways which can be more beneficial in decreasing the intake of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Nowadays for the sake of enjoyment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend immense amount of money.
However
, if a person is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
foodie and
he finds eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which are not at all healthy is enjoyment for him. Due to the fact at that instance the person would not care of spending great amount of money.
As a result
, increasing prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not at all a relevant step.

On the contrary
, there are various steps which can be more beneficial and effective for decrementing the intake of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. One of the significant step is spreading awareness regarding the adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of fattening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social media platforms are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in proper way then awareness can
be spread
significantly
.
However
, nowadays almost every single person is utilizing social media platforms.
For example
, if a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personality of politics or films encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by promoting the adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
of fattening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
through any campaign then it can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.

To conclude
, according to me increasing the price of fattening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will not give fruitful output.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should promote or increase awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by educating them through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of campaigns.
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IELTS essay More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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