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the pressure of today's society often mean that both parents in a family have to work. some say this creates a poor environment for children to grow up in. what is your opinion?

the pressure of today's society often mean that both parents in a family have to work. some say this creates a poor environment for children to grow up in. what is your opinion? Groye
Nowadays the society and the cost of living impose that both parents have to work to maintein and garantee a good and healty style of life to their family. The dubt of some people is, working both so much they are really giving this kind of life to their children? Parents doing that have such a little time to spend with the family and this could induce to the create of an enviroment where the children feel trascurated and not the top priority. Childrens will stop tell them banal but also important things that happen in their lives, share their emotions of listen to their advices and this could lead to dangerous situations. This way they will start to feel insecure about their relationship with their parents, becoming more and more superficial. Otherwise parents are working so much just because they cares about theire children and they want the best for them. This situation couldn’t just lead to a bad and poor enviroment to grow up. By doing this they are actually teaching them some importants values that will be important especially in their future life when they will be all grown up, like the matter of work, perseverance, caring about each other and some skills like organisation. To sum up, in my opinion it’s not important the quantity of time they spend together but the quality of it. Until they are able to use their time at the most, this enviroment will be super healty and everything except poor.
Nowadays the society and the cost of living impose that both parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work to
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintein
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
garantee
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
healty
style of life to their family. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
dubt
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is, working both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much they are
really
giving this kind of life to their children?

Parents doing that have such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to spend with the family and this could induce to the
The word 'create' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "creation"?
create
of an
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
where the children feel
Possible spelling mistake found.
trascurated
and not the top priority.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Childrens will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them banal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
things that happen in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, share their emotions of listen to their advices and this could lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations. This way they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to feel insecure about their relationship with their parents, becoming more and more superficial.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
parents are working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "care"
cares
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
theire
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they want the best for them. This situation couldn’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lead to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and poor
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
to grow up. By doing this they are actually teaching them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
importants
values that will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
especially
in their future life when they will be all grown up, like the matter of work, perseverance, caring about each other and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

To sum up, in my opinion it’s not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
the quantity of time they spend together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the quality of it. Until they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their time at the most, this
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
will be super
Possible spelling mistake found.
healty
and everything except poor.

IELTS essay the pressure of today's society often mean that both parents in a family have to work. some say this creates a poor environment for children to grow up in. what is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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