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The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012

The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012 gYyW7
The data sources clearly communicate the transformation of minor theatre during the period from 2010 to 2012. It can be visibly seen that, there was a wide-ranging in the theater with expander in size and more media services and modern facilities In 2010, there was an auditorium, which included 16 chairs, was in front of the stage. Thus, in the top left of this theatre, there was the shortage that next to the media and the stage. Moreover, in the right of the main entrance, there existed a cafe and a ticket office in the left which aligned with the admin office. After two years, while the auditorium remained no changes, the stage was expanded in size and the media was knocked down to construct the hall. Additionally, the shortage was moved to the top right corner and it was replaced by the media which had the showers inside. Besides, the main entrance was extended in size and the admin office was renovated to the northwest. Furthermore, the cafe was demolished and the ticket office was reconstructed to the right of the main entrance. Last but not least, the restaurant was erected on the original site of the ticket office.
The data sources
clearly
communicate the transformation of minor
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
during the period from 2010 to 2012.

It can be
visibly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, there was a wide-ranging in the theater with expander in size and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
services and modern facilities

In 2010, there was an auditorium, which included 16 chairs, was in front of the stage.
Thus
, in the top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of this
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, there was the shortage that
next
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and the stage.
Moreover
, in the right of the main entrance, there existed a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and a ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
which aligned with the admin office.

After two years, while the auditorium remained no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the stage
was expanded
in size and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
was knocked
down to construct the hall.
Additionally
, the shortage was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the top right corner and it
was replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which had the showers inside.
Besides
, the main entrance
was extended
in size and the admin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
was renovated
to the northwest.
Furthermore
, the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
was demolished
and the ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
was reconstructed
to the right of the main entrance. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the restaurant
was erected
on the original site of the ticket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
.
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IELTS essay The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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