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Computers are considered a necessity in today’s time. What disadvantage will people experience if they cannot use computers? What should our government do to address this growing need?

Computers are considered a necessity in today’s time. What disadvantage will people experience if they cannot use computers? What should our government do to address this growing need? NmP32
It is frequently argued that the public reckon the computer has various benefits in modern society. Even though numerous harmful points are using the computer, I side with the opinion that the computer is necessary for the general public. One of the many things that the public would say is that people spend a lot of time using the computer, such as enjoying games or watching videos. Also, we cannot discount the fact that the number of people who enjoy the fascinating contents by computer has grown without working or using their time efficiently. For example, the broadcast which was aired by public broadcaster KBS, shows that 73 percent of computer users spend their time using their computer over 8 hours without any production. The example shows that the folks who are using the computer a lot of time expend their time more useful. However, we cannot overlook the merit involved in that people use the computer to survive because this device is necessary. This electronic machine has an overwhelming part of our life and its account for peoples’ daily lives. There is an article by Taegu local News about 7 individuals who are not using the computer for 7 days. The article also deals with the interview that everyone cannot succeed in their mission. Therefore the government should enact relevant laws on the healthy way to use computers. In summary, some people are addicted to the computer because the contents are attractive. Nevertheless, we cannot deny that modern people use the computer very useful, so the government, educational instruments, and domestic have to teach the right way to use the computer to the young.
It is
frequently
argued that the public reckon the computer has various benefits in modern society.
Even though
numerous harmful points are using the computer, I side with the opinion that the computer is necessary for the
general public
.

One of the
many
things that the public would say is that
people
spend
a lot of
time
using the computer, such as enjoying games or watching videos.
Also
, we cannot discount the fact that the number of
people
who enjoy the fascinating contents by computer has grown without working or using their
time
efficiently
.
For example
, the broadcast which
was aired
by public broadcaster KBS,
shows
that 73 percent of computer users spend their
time
using their computer over 8 hours without any production. The example
shows
that the folks who are using the computer
a lot of
time
expend their
time
more useful.

However
, we cannot overlook the merit involved in that
people
use
the computer to survive
because
this device is necessary. This electronic machine has an overwhelming part of our life and its account for
peoples’
daily
lives
. There is an article by Taegu local News about 7 individuals who are not using the computer for 7 days. The article
also
deals with the interview that everyone cannot succeed in their mission.
Therefore
the
government
should enact relevant laws on the healthy way to
use
computers.

In summary,
some
people
are addicted
to the computer
because
the contents are attractive.
Nevertheless
, we cannot deny that modern
people
use
the computer
very
useful,
so
the
government
, educational instruments, and domestic
have to
teach the right way to
use
the computer to the young.
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IELTS essay Computers are considered a necessity in today’s time. What disadvantage will people experience if they cannot use computers? What should our government do to address this growing need?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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