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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today MRg9
The plans illustrate how the structure of the Grange park have changed since 1920. It is noticeable that there were main various changes into its infrastructure even though some facilities remained stable there. We can see that the entrances of the park were fixed without any alteration although merely one novel entrance on the right down which is so-called the entrance underground car park. Furthermore, the center of the park has been altered to the rose garden with four seats around it in place of fountain. Hence, it is café that has been placed instead of the rose garden on the top right, and actually, one of them has been removed on the down left. Additionally, areas were constructed for children’s play and also for the water feature instead of the pond for water plants and the glasshouse roughly on the right, respectively. The only change that was happened on the left side is the amphitheater for concert has been replaced.
The plans illustrate how the structure of the Grange
park
have
changed
since 1920. It is noticeable that there were main various
changes
into its infrastructure
even though
some
facilities remained stable there.

We can
see
that the entrances of the
park
were
fixed
without any alteration although
merely
one novel entrance on the right down which is
so
-called the entrance underground car
park
.
Furthermore
, the center of the
park
has
been altered
to the rose garden with four seats around it in place of fountain.
Hence
, it is café that has
been placed
instead
of the rose garden on the top right, and actually, one of them has
been removed
on the down
left
.

Additionally
, areas
were constructed
for children’s play and
also
for the water feature
instead
of the pond for water plants and the glasshouse roughly on the right,
respectively
. The
only
change
that
was happened
on the
left
side is the amphitheater for concert has
been replaced
.
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IELTS essay The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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