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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevent.

The plans indicate the features of Grange Park at Arnold avenue in the year of 1920 and it's modern appearance today. Overall, it could be identified that there are significant new components have added to the current arrangement of the park than it is begun. Both arrangements are very beautiful and suitable for the social requirements of the relevant period of times. In the year of 1920 the Grange park has made with the beautiful environment especially surrounding with rose gardens. There were three gardens of roses at the park when it is started. Thus, there was a stage for musicians in the left-side middle of a park, and there was a fountain in the middle of the park directly to both entrances. Pond for a water plant was located in the right corner of the park, and there where four seating areas in the left side of the park. I think it is had a very calm and romantic background around the Grange park at that time. Presently, the park has appeared with more novel components. The number of roses gardens have reduced up to two and the one of it replaced the Fountain which located in the middle when it started. So now the seating areas have moved to the middle rose gardens. The stage has renewed as an amphitheatre for concerts, and water plant pond has replaced by a children park. Water feature replaced to the glasshouse which located in the right side of the park and they have added the underground car park as a new arrangement.
The plans indicate the features of Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
at Arnold avenue in the year of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
1920 and
it's modern appearance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Overall
, it could
be identified
that there are significant new components have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
arrangement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
than it
is begun
. Both arrangements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and suitable for the social requirements of the relevant period of times. In the year of 1920 the Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has made with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
environment
especially
surrounding with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
. There were three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roses
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
when it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.
Thus
, there was a stage for musicians in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
-side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, and there was a fountain in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
directly
to both entrances. Pond for a water plant
was located
in the right corner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, and there
Did you mean “were”, the simple past of “to be”?
where
four seating areas in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
is had
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
calm and romantic background around the Grange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
at that time.

Presently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has appeared with more novel components. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
up to two and the one of it replaced the Fountain which located in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the seating areas have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
. The stage has renewed as an
Possible spelling mistake. ‘amphitheatre’ is British English.
amphitheatre
for concerts, and water plant pond has replaced by a children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. Water feature replaced to the glasshouse which located
In this case, the usual preposition with “side” is “on”, not “in”. Did you mean “on the right side”?
in the right side
of the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
park and
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
the underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
as a new arrangement.
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IELTS essay The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
261 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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