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The plan below shows a public park

The plan below shows a public park NWjoj
The picture shows the differences of a public park between when it was opened in 1920 and today. Overall there are some parts that built in and some other parts are not available anymore or being replaced as new building. To begin with, in 1920, there is only a tiny stage for the musician with two rose gardens in both sides of the park and for today the stage changes into bigger amphitheatre that can be use for concert with the only rose garden left is the one in the right side of the amphitheatre. Another changes happen to the water fountain that become a square rose garden with seats on each sides. Moreover, there are no more glasshouse at the park but there are water feature instead. The rose garden located in the left side of the entrance from arnold avenue is changed to be a cafe and the pond near it becoming a children's play area. As the last, all the seats from 1920 is no more available.
The picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the differences of a public park between when it
was opened
in 1920 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Overall
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts that built in and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other parts are not available anymore or
being replaced
as new building.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 1920, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a tiny stage for the musician with two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of the park and for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the stage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
into bigger
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for concert with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
is the one
The usual prepositions to use when in contact with the side is "on" not "in". Did you mean "on the right side"?
in the right side
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
happen to the water fountain that become a square
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
with seats on each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "side"?
sides
.
Moreover
, there are no more
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "glasshouses"?
glasshouse
at the park
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are water
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "features"?
feature
instead
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
garden
located in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of the entrance from
Possible spelling mistake found.
arnold
avenue is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to be a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and the pond near it becoming a children's play area. As the last, all the seats from 1920 is no more available.
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IELTS essay The plan below shows a public park

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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