Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the pie illustrates the rate about the time people use a smartphone and tablets

the pie illustrates the rate about the time people use a smartphone and tablets 70WK2
the pie illustrates the rate about the time people use a smartphone and tablets it is clear that a majority of people use smartphones and tablets to play games and social networking. The percentage of news is the least popular with people. Besides, people spend on tablets to play games is higher than that of smartphones. As regards the first three figures, people consume time to play games on tablets is more than a half of the pie which rank the first figure with 57% and that play games on smartphones at 35%. Moreover, the proportion of social networking on smartphones is twofold consists of 29% as high as the figure of social networking on tablets makes up 15%. The quantity of music and video on tablets is higher than that on smartphones with 8% meanwhile on tablets accounts for 13%. In terms of the least figure, the rate of utilities on smartphones with 20% is sixfold as well as that on tablets about 3%. People who use a smartphone and tablets to find out news is nearly identical take up 3%. The data of others on tablets are more popular than on smartphones at 8% and 5% respectively.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
pie illustrates the rate about the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a smartphone and tablets

it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones and tablets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and social networking. The percentage of news is the least popular with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend on tablets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is higher than that of smartphones.

As regards the
first
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on tablets is more than a half of the pie which rank the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
with 57% and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on smartphones at 35%.
Moreover
, the proportion of social networking on smartphones is twofold consists of 29% as high as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
of social networking on tablets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up 15%. The quantity of music and video on tablets is higher than that on smartphones with 8% meanwhile on tablets accounts for 13%.

In terms of the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
, the rate of utilities on smartphones with 20% is sixfold
as well
as that on tablets about 3%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a smartphone and tablets to find out news is
nearly
identical take up 3%. The data of others on tablets are more popular than on smartphones at 8% and 5%
respectively
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay the pie illustrates the rate about the time people use a smartphone and tablets

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    Restricting the use of mobile phones in schools
    Mobile phones have become a major part of a student’s life at present. However, using mobile devices have been banned in some schools. In my view, restrictions on the use of mobile phones by students at their place of schooling is a beneficial approach overall, since it would have positive consequen...
  • 6.5band
    “The internet is making society smarter. ”
    The internet has changed our lives in many ways. We use it for work and in our daily life. While the internet has made us much more productive, some people argue it has also made us smarter. However, I disagree with this position. Those who believe the internet has made society smart cite several r...
  • 6.5band
    improvement in communication due to technology. Is this a positive or a negative development?
    In recent times, virtual training has been implemented by a number of university institutions to promote web-based studies. In my opinion, this is due to advancement in innovation and it should be a positive improvement for students and educators as it reduces the workload. Above all else, individu...
  • 6band
    Children above 15 must be given the freedom to make their own decisions in life.
    It is sometimes argued that teenagers might be committed theirself without the consent of relatives or adults. I mostly agree with this statement and this essay will give reasons as to why. On the one hand, letting youngsters decide on their own earns them a barrage of advantages. To commence with,...
  • 6band
    some people believe that the young should be punished in the same way as adults.
    In these days, people are trying harder to fight for children's rights because they think that children are the future and hope of our planet. But, how about the punishments for children if they do wrong things? Plenty of people suppose that children should be punished in the same way as adults when...
  • 5.5band
    Today, many people use ebook instead of traditional books.
    Nowaday, , a few human beings opt to study e-books as opposed to studying published books. In my opinion, studying e-books is extra high quality than studying paper primarily based totally books Firstly, in case you favor to examine in your cellular devices, laptops or different hand held devices, y...