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“The internet is making society smarter.” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

“The internet is making society smarter. ” BLYdX
The internet has changed our lives in many ways. We use it for work and in our daily life. While the internet has made us much more productive, some people argue it has also made us smarter. However, I disagree with this position. Those who believe the internet has made society smart cite several reasons. To begin with, they believe that more access to information means that we know more and this makes us smarter. In addition, through faster communication, we can access information faster, and information is power. Furthermore, through connecting to the world via the internet we have more ideas and opportunities that were unimaginable in the past. All of this leads to smarter, more connected, and more rounded people. However, I take exception to every one of those points. First of all, access to more information doesn’t make you smarter. Most people rely on the convenience of Google and Wikipedia and as a result, don’t remember information. Innovation and creative thoughts start in the mind, and without this resource, you can’t be creative. What is worse is that now, most communication is now done through short soundbites and messaging apps, we are losing the art of empathy and effective communication, and with sources that are trying to trigger us, like news sites on social media, we as a society are actually regressing in many ways, becoming more tribal and losing skills such as critical thinking, openness, and being accepting of new ideas. To sum up, the internet has helped society in many ways. However, this does mean we are more intelligent. By outsourcing so much of our lives to the internet, I would argue that we are getting dumber. I hope that in the future, we take more opportunities to unplug and really experience life.
The internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for work and in our daily life. While the internet has made us much more productive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue it has
also
made us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smarter
.
However
, I disagree with this position.

Those who believe the internet has made society smart cite several reasons. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they believe that more access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
means that we know more and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smarter
.
In addition
, through faster communication, we can access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
faster, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is power.
Furthermore
, through connecting to the world via the internet we have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and opportunities that were unimaginable in the past. All of this leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smarter
, more connected, and more rounded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, I take exception to every one of those points.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, access to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smarter
. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rely on the convenience of Google and Wikipedia and
as a result
, don’t remember
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Innovation and creative thoughts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in the mind, and without this resource, you can’t be creative. What is worse is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, most communication is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
done through short soundbites and messaging apps, we are losing the art of empathy and effective communication, and with sources that are trying to trigger us, like news sites on social media, we as a society are actually regressing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, becoming more tribal and losing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as critical thinking, openness, and being accepting of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To sum up, the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
However
, this does mean we are more intelligent. By outsourcing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to the internet, I would argue that we are getting dumber. I hope that in the future, we take more opportunities to unplug and
really
experience life.
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IELTS essay “The internet is making society smarter. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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