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The pie chart show the change in the percentage of market share represented

The pie chart show the change in the percentage of market share represented Nl0gN
According to the pie charts, in 2005 the majority of people rent DVD had far more percentages than leagal downloads and ticket selling for cinema. Meanwhile, the percentages of people going to the cinema were less than one third and the movies downloads from the internet was at 6%. Beside that, by 2011 both people going to the cinema and renting DVD were decreased rapidly into 56% and 18%. However it can be seen that there was a dramactic increase of 20% of download movies in 2011
According to the pie charts, in 2005 the majority of
people
rent DVD had far more percentages than
leagal
downloads and ticket selling for cinema. Meanwhile, the percentages of
people
going to the cinema were less than one third and the movies downloads from the internet was at 6%. Beside that, by 2011 both
people
going to the cinema and renting DVD
were decreased
rapidly
into 56% and 18%.
However
it can be
seen
that there was a
dramactic
increase of 20% of download movies in 2011
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IELTS essay The pie chart show the change in the percentage of market share represented

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
86 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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