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The pie chars compare the amount of fuels to produce electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie chars compare the amount of fuels to produce electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. LG1a8
The pie chars compare the amount of fuels to produce electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Overall, it is clear that in 2000 the amount of fuels use to produced electricity in both countries were almost double that of in 1980. While the totals of both countries were similar, there were big differences in the fuel source used. It is noticeable that the most significant source of energy in Australia was produced from coal, Coal production rate increase from 50 units our of 100 units to 130 units out of 170 units (nearly a three-quarter) in 2000. As hydropower, the figures slightly increase from 20 units to 30 units over the given period. Whereas, the remaining sources are oil and natural gas dropped dramatically from 10 units and 20 units respectively to 2units for both sources. Turning to the sources of energy use in France, it can be seen that more than half of the market consumed gas and oil, there was the similar amount of natural gas (25units) and oil (20units) used in the first year. However, in the year of 2000 oil production increase of a mere 5 units to 25 units, which less than one-third of the total market proportion. The largest source of energy was produced by nuclear power, the figure rose from 15 units to almost 120 units. The only source of energy that remain constant was coal at 25 units.
The pie chars compare the amount of fuels to produce electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in 2000 the amount of fuels
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "uses"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'use' is not always incorrect.)
use
to produced electricity in both countries were almost double that of in 1980. While the totals of both countries were similar, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
differences in the fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.

It is noticeable that the most significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in Australia
was produced
from coal, Coal production rate increase from 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
our of 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
to 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
out of 170
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
(
nearly
a three-quarter) in 2000. As hydropower, the figures
slightly
increase from 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. Whereas, the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and natural gas dropped
dramatically
from 10
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units
and 20
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units
respectively
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2units
for both sources.

Turning to the
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sources
of
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energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in France, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that more than half of the market consumed gas and
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oil
, there was the similar amount of natural gas
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(25units)
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(20units)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
first
year.
However
, in the year of 2000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
production increase of a mere 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
to 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
, which less than one-third of the total market proportion. The largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was produced
by nuclear power, the figure rose from 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
to almost 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
that remain constant was coal at 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
units
.
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IELTS essay The pie chars compare the amount of fuels to produce electricity in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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