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The pictures show the changes of a park from 1980 to the present day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Society creates inevitable part of our lives. What feelings we have while spending time together with members of this group depends a lot on how people live around us, what they do, how they behave. How we love life in place where we reside is to a big extend influenced by contribution of each and every individual. Both in negative and positive way. In this essay I will write about perfect group around us. If ever something like that existed or is possibly being created. And if that is going to happen what are the circumstance for making this dream come true. I believe perfect community never existed and is never going to be created. Taking for istance the nucleus of society- a family. Does anyone experience perfect family where nobody does mistakes, always does what is right? I don’t know about any such miracle. But eventhough one cant find dream land with only perfect members in it I believe it is possible to live happily in the present situation with concrete people we have around. We can create nice surrounding but not perfect one. We can have nice relationships with our neighbours eventhough they are not without mistakes (and to tell the secret we are not either). I think it is all about attitude. Be thankful instead of complaining. Do something nice without being forced to do so. Don’t gossip but try to be encouraging. Those are small bits which can bring big changes and influence whole society itself. Moving it closer to ideal one. To sum it up. If we can today and now change our attitude, do something nice, maybe small but efficient, we can be the first one moving a mountain. That might look like craziness for a stranger, maybe impossible thing to see it in real life. But everyone of us can do a small miracle for those around us.
Society creates inevitable part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. What feelings we have while spending time together with members of this group depends a lot on how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
around us, what they do, how they behave. How we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
life in place where we reside is to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
The word ‘extend’ is not a noun. Did you mean “extent”?
extend
influenced by contribution of each and every individual. Both in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.

In this essay I will write about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
group around us. If ever something like that existed or is
possibly
being created
. And if
that is
going to happen what are the circumstance for making this dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.

I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
community never existed and is never going to
be created
. Taking for
Possible spelling mistake found.
istance
the nucleus of society- a family. Does anyone experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
family where nobody does mistakes, always does what is right? I don’t know about any such miracle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
one cant find dream land with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
members in
Consider adding a comma here.
it
I believe it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
in the present situation with concrete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we have around.

We can create nice surrounding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perfect
one. We can have nice relationships with our
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbours’ is British English.
neighbours
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
they are not without mistakes (and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the secret we are not either). I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is all about attitude. Be thankful
instead
of complaining.

Do something nice without
being forced
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Don’t gossip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
try to be encouraging. Those are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
bits which can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and influence whole society itself. Moving it closer to ideal one.

To sum it up. If we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our attitude, do something nice, maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
efficient, we can be the
first
one moving a mountain. That might look like craziness for a stranger, maybe impossible thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it in real life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Did you mean “every one”?
everyone
of us can do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
miracle for those around us.
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IELTS essay The pictures show the changes of a park from 1980 to the present day.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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