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Many people believe that the increasing number of youth crime is associated with the widely spread physical scenes in media.

Many people believe that the increasing number of youth crime is associated with the widely spread physical scenes in media. In my opinion, this is one of the causes among in many reasons, and I believe that good parenting and a stronger juvenile legal system can prevent minors from embarking on a life of crime. In my view, there are two main reasons for the accelerating rate of youth violation. Firstly, parents are too busy with work, which they are not being able to spend enough time with their children. Without the supervision and care, teenagers do not feel the need to stay at home, as a result, they end up being on the streets and entertain themselves in a way that can excite them, such as stealing. Secondly, the punitive measures for adolescence are not strong enough to stop them from committing crimes. The penalties for young individuals are totally different from adults when it is dealing with the same crime. In many countries, the sanctions for teenagers are considered to be warning rather than actual punishment. I think that the incidence of youth crime can be reduced through good parenting and a strengthen juvenile legal system. Parents play an important role in the growth of teenagers. If parents spend more time to connect with their children and get to know their friends, teenagers are unlikely to feel bored and isolated from family. Meanwhile, strict penalties should be introduced aimed at punishing young offenders, in particular, the repeat offenders, as I believe that this will be an effective way to minimise and deter the crime intention of young people. To conclude, the increasing number of youth offenders are driven by the lenient juvenile legal rules and distance relationship between young individuals and parents, good parenting and deterrent penalty are the key solutions to solve this problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is associated
with the
widely
spread physical scenes in media. In my opinion, this is one of the causes among in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, and I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting and a stronger juvenile legal system can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
minors from embarking on a life of crime.

In my view, there are two main reasons for the accelerating rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
violation.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too busy with work, which they are not being able to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time with their children. Without the supervision and care,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
do not feel the need to stay at home,
as a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being on the streets and entertain themselves in a way that can excite them, such as stealing.
Secondly
, the punitive measures for adolescence are not strong
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them from committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. The penalties for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals are
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from adults when it is dealing with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, the sanctions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are considered
to be warning
rather
than actual punishment.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the incidence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
through
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting and
After ‘a’, do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of ‘strengthen’ is correct. If ‘strengthen’ is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a strengthen
juvenile legal system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend more time to connect with their children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know their friends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are unlikely to feel bored and isolated from family. Meanwhile, strict penalties should
be introduced
aimed at punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
offenders,
in particular
, the repeat offenders, as I believe that this will be an effective way to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘minimise’ is British English.
minimise
and deter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
intention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
offenders
are driven
by the lenient juvenile legal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and distance relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
parenting and deterrent penalty are the key solutions to solve this problem.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that the increasing number of youth crime is associated with the widely spread physical scenes in media.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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