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Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

It is frequently argued by certain individuals that after there has been an increasing number of different commercials on TV with the advancement of telecommunication system, advertising have both adverse and beneficial influences on the way of life and economic. This essay will support both benefits and drawbacks of advertisement aired on Television. To commence with, commercials have a detrimental effect on adolescent's growth. To be specific, Numerous companies promote advertisements endorsed by the most popular celebrities in an attempt to illustrate the exact features of a product, which induces children who admire certain stars to purchase it. Consequently, they will have a negative habit of purchasing unnecessary merchandise and waste money due to a lack of financial knowledge. For instance, In South Korea, the public authority is currently making effort into solving the social problem among children by asking the commercial corporations not to involve celebrities. Nevertheless, it is also believed advertising positively affect the development of economy. For example, according to the recent economic research, successful commercials encourage companies to compete and invent more products, and customers are exhorted to purchase, provided these merchandise meet individuals requirements as well as preferences. Therefore, it helps manufacturing companies develop, which will boost economic growth. In conclusion, it is irrefutable that advertising exerts beneficial effects on individuals and economy. However, corporations are required to ponder the consequence of commercials due to social issues amongst adolescents.
It is
frequently
argued by certain individuals that after there has been an increasing number of
different
commercials on TV with the advancement of telecommunication system, advertising have both adverse and beneficial influences on the way of life and economic. This essay will support both benefits and drawbacks of advertisement aired on Television. To commence with, commercials have a detrimental effect on adolescent's growth. To be specific, Numerous
companies
promote advertisements endorsed by the most popular celebrities in an attempt to illustrate the exact features of a product, which induces children who admire certain stars to
purchase
it.
Consequently
, they will have a
negative
habit of purchasing unnecessary merchandise and waste money due to a lack of financial knowledge.
For instance
, In South Korea, the public authority is
currently
making effort into solving the social problem among children by asking the
commercial
corporations not to involve celebrities.
Nevertheless
, it is
also
believed advertising
positively
affect the development of economy.
For example
, according to the recent economic research, successful commercials encourage
companies
to compete and invent more products, and customers
are exhorted
to
purchase
, provided these merchandise
meet
individuals requirements
as well
as preferences.
Therefore
, it
helps
manufacturing
companies
develop, which will boost economic growth.
In conclusion
, it is irrefutable that advertising exerts beneficial effects on individuals and economy.
However
, corporations
are required
to ponder the consequence of commercials due to social issues
amongst
adolescents.
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IELTS essay Some feel that the effects of advertising are positive for individuals and businesses, while others think they are negative.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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