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It is quite often argued that adolescent crimes are increasing day by day and these are mainly influenced by the electronic media.

It is quite often argued that adolescent crimes are increasing day by day and these are mainly influenced by the electronic media. Because Television or YouTube channels are created violence programs with realistic and broadcasting the same to the public. Here mostly children are effected and committed to do a lot of crimes. I largely agree with the former perspective due to the various reasons that shall be delineated in the following paragraphs. This essay shall outline the supporting points in lieu of the negative impacts on children by media. To begin with, some portion of the people believe that Television is imparted a negative impact on communal. Most of the violence programs are shooted with the real world as it is increasing crime rates in the current generation. Mostly, children are trying to copy the same behavior they see on the screen in the home or schools. For example, present days an electronic media presenting crime-related programs and children are applying the same and went prison under the law of Immature crime. Furthermore, children are very sharp to remember the things and they are mentally going into a weak stage to watch these types of violence programs and it is affecting their studies too. Nowadays, technology has improved a lot and media tried to create programs in 3D to attract the children and they are addicted to those programs. In conclusion, at the age of 10 to 15, children's maturity levels are not up to the mark to discriminate whether doing is correct or wrong. When they watched this type of violent programs, somewhere they apply and go to prison unknowingly.
It is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that adolescent crimes are increasing day by day and these are
mainly
influenced by the electronic media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
Television or YouTube channels
are created
violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
with realistic and broadcasting the same to the public. Here
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are effected
and committed to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
crimes. I
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former perspective due to the various reasons that shall
be delineated
in the following paragraphs. This essay shall outline the supporting points in lieu of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by media.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that Television
is imparted
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on communal. Most of the violence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “shot”, the past tense form of the verb ‘shoot’?
shooted
with the real world as it is increasing crime rates in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
Mostly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are trying to copy the same behavior they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on the screen in the home or schools.
For example
, present days an electronic media presenting crime-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are applying the same and went prison under the law of Immature crime.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sharp to remember the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they are mentally going into a weak stage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these types of violence
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
programs and
it is affecting their studies too. Nowadays, technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot and media tried to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
in 3D to attract the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
are addicted
to those programs.

In conclusion
, at the age of 10 to 15, children's maturity levels are not up to the mark to discriminate whether doing is correct or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
this type of violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, somewhere they apply and go to prison
unknowingly
.
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IELTS essay It is quite often argued that adolescent crimes are increasing day by day and these are mainly influenced by the electronic media.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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