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The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Private details of an individual are often requested by giant internet organizations while signing up on their websites. This essay explores why it is risky to put personal information online. Firstly, cyber crimes have increased exponentially putting valuable data up for illegal use and secondly, anything uploaded online is never permanently deleted. Nonetheless, sharing information can prove beneficial in emergency cases. Hacking and creation of fake identity are major crisis that have with time become harder to track and rectify. Moreover, online breaches have not only collapsed organizations that store these details but also attacked heavily protected government websites. A recent example of such damage of the USA government website granted the hackers access to private e-mails of top-level personnel. Even if someone erases their account information from any company's webpage, it could still be found in case deeper search is undertaken. Social networking sites such as Twitter fall prey to such unintentional circulation of privacy. For example, a video of a violent murder was removed from the same company's account, however, it had spread throughout the world already. Although it is challenging to control data leaks, emergency situations can sometimes be resolved by having an online presence. A plethora of webpages streamline content according to the user's location, thereby giving local updates and news. I was able to use this type of service efficiently to avoid travelling to a food mall that had a gas leak, potentially saving my life. In conclusion, most individuals who form online accounts should read the fine print before agreeing to share their data as cyber crimes can cost them a hefty price of either identity exploitation or unintended content distribution.
Private
details
of an individual are
often
requested by giant internet organizations while signing up on their websites. This essay explores why it is risky to put personal information
online
.
Firstly
, cyber crimes have increased
exponentially
putting valuable data up for illegal
use
and
secondly
, anything uploaded
online
is never
permanently
deleted. Nonetheless, sharing information can prove beneficial in emergency cases.

Hacking and creation of fake identity are major crisis that have with time become harder to
track
and rectify.
Moreover
,
online
breaches have not
only
collapsed organizations that store these
details
but
also
attacked
heavily
protected
government
websites. A recent example of such
damage of
the USA
government
website granted the hackers access to private e-mails of top-level personnel.

Even if someone erases their account information from any
company
's webpage, it could
still
be found
in case deeper search is undertaken. Social networking sites such as Twitter fall prey to such unintentional circulation of privacy.
For example
, a video of a violent murder
was removed
from the same
company
's account,
however
, it had spread throughout the world already.

Although it is challenging to control data leaks, emergency situations can
sometimes
be resolved
by having an
online
presence. A plethora of webpages streamline content according to the user's location, thereby giving local updates and news. I was able to
use
this type of service
efficiently
to avoid travelling to a food mall that had a gas leak,
potentially
saving my life.

In conclusion
, most individuals who form
online
accounts should read the fine print
before
agreeing to share their data as cyber crimes can cost them a hefty price of either identity exploitation or unintended content distribution.
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IELTS essay The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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