Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

thorny issue. Some people adhere to that this can exert positive impact on society while others claim that sport only serves leisure purpose. My essay is going to shed light

thorny issue. Some people adhere to that this can exert positive impact on society while others claim that sport only serves leisure purpose. My essay is going to shed light j8Lna
The sport industry is always in the spotlight, and the importance of sport is a thorny issue. Some people adhere to that this can exert positive impact on society while others claim that sport only serves leisure purpose. My essay is going to shed light on both side of the issue and then present my personal view. On one the hand, it is understandable why quite a few people view sport as only a pastime. Notwithstanding having amount of merits, a plethora of adults too concentrate on the other factors in their live without knowing about the values. They spend a large proportion of their time working and earning money, they may think that playing sport consumes too much time which can be better used for work. Furthermore, with the lack of necessary attributes and innate talents in sport, they may feel depressed and uncomfortable when doing physical workout. In addition, due to the fact that we are living in modern world, there are a growing number of entertainment activities on the Internet preventing people from accessing physical task. Take my bother as a telling example, although he spends hours playing games and surfing web, he seldom does any exercises. The obsession with sports possibly lures people into evil activities from illegal betting to hooliganism. On the other hand, I m totally in sync with community who consider athletics to be a dominant factor in developed society. Firstly, sport can play a vital role in our health. Obviously, doing exercise improves physical heath, prevents illness and increases life-expectancy, especially boosting mental health resulting effectiveness performance in working. According to scientific studies, people without doing workout will more suffer decreasing life-expectancy at least three times than the one playing sport. Secondly, sport industry generates tremendous profit through sport event. For example, by dint of recognizing Olympics Games, Japan had reaped 100 million dollars and enticed a large of tourists from all walks of life after the events came to an end. Moreover, the international sport events provide opportunities to establish peace and enhance the diplomatic relationship between countries. In a nutshell, much disregard the position of sport whereas I cling to that sport is of greater benefits in health, commerce and society.
The
sport
industry is always in the spotlight, and the importance of

sport is a thorny issue.
Some
people
adhere to that this can exert
positive


impact on society while others claim that
sport
only
serves leisure

purpose. My essay is going to shed light on both side of the issue and

then present my personal view.

On one the hand, it is understandable why quite a few
people
view sport

as
only
a pastime. Notwithstanding having amount of merits, a plethora of adults too

concentrate on the other factors in their
live
without knowing about the

values. They spend a large proportion of their time working and earning

money, they may
think
that playing
sport
consumes too much time

which can be better
used
for work.
Furthermore
, with the lack of

necessary attributes and innate talents in
sport
, they may feel depressed

and uncomfortable when doing physical workout.
In addition
, due to the

fact that we are living in modern world, there are a growing number of

entertainment activities on the Internet preventing
people
from accessing

physical task. Take my bother as a telling example, although he

spends hours playing games and surfing web, he seldom does any

exercises. The obsession with
sports
possibly
lures
people
into evil activities from illegal betting to hooliganism.

On the other hand
, I m
totally
in sync with community who consider athletics to

be a dominant factor in developed society.
Firstly
,
sport
can play a vital

role in our health.
Obviously
, doing exercise
improves
physical heath,

prevents
illness and increases life-expectancy,
especially
boosting mental

health resulting effectiveness performance in working. According to

scientific studies,
people
without doing workout will more suffer

decreasing life-expectancy at least three times than the one playing

sport.
Secondly
,
sport
industry generates tremendous profit through

sport
event
.
For example
, by dint of recognizing Olympics Games,

Japan had reaped 100 million dollars and enticed a large of tourists from

all walks of life after the
events
came to an
end
.
Moreover
, the international

sport
events
provide opportunities to establish peace and enhance the

diplomatic relationship between countries.

In a nutshell, much disregard the position of
sport
whereas I cling to that

sport is of greater benefits in health, commerce and society.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay thorny issue. Some people adhere to that this can exert positive impact on society while others claim that sport only serves leisure purpose. My essay is going to shed light

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts