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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. 8bQw
The number of young people who have gained excessive weight in the western society has risen around 20% since ten years ago. As we all know that our body’s condition determines our physical’s health, this trend is very dangerous. It is not only affecting their condition at present but their future generation will also be affected. These children’s condition is caused by eating too much junk food and lack of exercise. In Addition, this problem will impact both the children and their next generation to have a higher chance of getting obesity and diabetes. Overweight is a health problem which is caused by consuming a lot of junk foods and not doing sufficient exercise. Children’s body has the highest rate of metabolism. By eating too much junk food, their body cannot process the fat that they consume. Moreover, by having lack of exercise, the energies that should be used for activity will be stored inside their body in a form of fat as well. Those factors will easily make the children gain more weight in a short time.
The number of young
people
who have gained excessive weight in the western society has risen around 20% since ten years ago. As we all know that our
body’s
condition determines our physical’s health, this trend is
very
dangerous
. It is not
only
affecting their condition at present
but
their future generation will
also
be
affected
. These
children’s
condition
is caused
by eating too much junk food and lack of exercise.
In Addition
, this problem will impact both the
children
and their
next
generation to have a higher chance of getting obesity and diabetes.

Overweight is a health problem which
is caused
by consuming
a lot of
junk foods and not doing sufficient exercise.
Children’s
body
has the highest rate of metabolism. By eating too much junk food, their
body
cannot process the
fat
that they consume.
Moreover
, by having lack of exercise, the energies that should be
used
for activity will
be stored
inside their
body
in a form of
fat
as well
. Those factors will
easily
make
the
children
gain more weight in a short time.
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IELTS essay The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
178 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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