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Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. XMVO
Many are of the opinion that high speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyle is having a detrimental effect on families. I somewhat agree with this statement because stress affects relationships and does not allow families to spend quality time together whereas fast pace of life contributes to overall wellbeing of family members. Stress on its own is modern era’s biggest challenge to family life as they spoil relationships within close members and it could be a result of extended working hours, challenging financial situations, family problems or anxiety. While some of the causes are due to external factors, anxiety has risen as one of the most prevalent reasons behind modern day stress, it affects a person’s mental wellbeing and does not foster positivity. This in turn leads to issues within a family due to lack of communication and poor anger management which consequently leads to verbal or physical arguments between family members. Fast pace of life on the other hand contributes to overall wellbeing of family life as it avoids boredom and keeps family members positive which results in better quality of family time. Although this is true for some, others struggle to manage time and eventually struggle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the opinion that high speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyle is having a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
affects relationships and does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to spend quality time together whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
contributes to
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is modern era’s biggest challenge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as they spoil relationships within close members and it could be a result of extended working hours, challenging financial situations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
problems or anxiety. While
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
causes are due to external factors, anxiety has risen as one of the most prevalent reasons behind modern day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, it affects a person’s mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
and does not foster positivity. This in turn leads to issues within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
due to lack of communication and poor anger management which
consequently
leads to verbal or physical arguments between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on the other hand
contributes to
overall
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it avoids boredom and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
which results in better quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
time. Although this is true for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, others struggle to manage time and
eventually
struggle.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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