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The pace of life nowadays is much faster than it was in the past and there is plenty of evidence to show that this causes people a lot of stress. What are some ways of alleviating stress?

The pace of life nowadays is much faster than it was in the past and there is plenty of evidence to show that this causes people a lot of stress. What are some ways of alleviating stress? PXMoJ
It is a common belief that people nowadays are usually under pressure because of the quick pace of life compared to in the past. This essay below would discuss the reason why the employees have stress and its appropriate solutions. To begin with, there is a lot of evidence that proves people are having mental difficulty. One of the most popular and understandable reasons for human’s pressure is the heavy workload. Apparently, people have a tendency to crash on enormous tasks to earn money without spending time relaxing or enjoying valuable periods with their families. According to a recent US survey, 80 percent of American teenagers revealed that they had been exhausted for a long time due to finance’s importance, which leads to the lack of time spent with their close relatives. To resolve the mentioned problem for people in order to have an enjoyable life, there are a number of methods that they could apply. First of all, people should find a hobby that is suitable for them, such as reading, playing sports, and listening to music. If they have their own favorite activity, it will be an effective and interesting way to reduce stress after working. Moreover, spending time with family on weekends is also a perfect solution to minimize the pressure. On Sunday, or Saturday if they can, people ought to hang out with their families or relatives to enjoy a happy atmosphere. To sum up, it is clear that the main reason for the serious stress that employees, teenagers, or pupils often suffer from every day is the heavy workload and their targets. However, they could find some joyful periods for themselves by hobby or spending time with relatives.
It is a common belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are
usually
under pressure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the quick pace of life compared to in the past. This essay below would discuss the reason why the employees have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and its appropriate solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
evidence that proves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are having mental difficulty. One of the most popular and understandable reasons for human’s pressure is the heavy workload.
Apparently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency to crash on enormous tasks to earn money without spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
relaxing or enjoying valuable periods with their families. According to a recent US survey, 80 percent of American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
revealed that they had
been exhausted
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to finance’s importance, which leads to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent with their close relatives.

To resolve the mentioned problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to have an enjoyable life, there are a number of methods that they could apply.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should find a hobby
that is
suitable for them, such as reading, playing sports, and listening to music. If they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
favorite activity, it will be an effective and interesting way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after working.
Moreover
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family on weekends is
also
a perfect solution to minimize the pressure. On Sunday, or Saturday if they can,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to hang out with their families or relatives to enjoy a happy atmosphere.

To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the main reason for the serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that employees,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, or pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suffer from every day is the heavy workload and their targets.
However
, they could find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
joyful periods for themselves by hobby or spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with relatives.
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IELTS essay The pace of life nowadays is much faster than it was in the past and there is plenty of evidence to show that this causes people a lot of stress. What are some ways of alleviating stress?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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